After surgery and in the room I go.

 ...the next thing I was aware of is, I really am not sure. It all gets kinda foggy. I don't remember coming to in recovery, though I guess I did. I remember rolling down the hallway, they stopped at central waiting to get Penny and she wasn't there. She had gone home to let the dogs out. Why? It had only been a couple minutes since I went into surgery. Surely they could wait a few more minutes. That's the way it felt. I remember laying down, putting my right arm out and then nothing. I guess it must have been about 3 hours later. Penny told me that she left as they got me into recovery. Said it would be about an hour so she had plenty of time. Crazy. Guess I recover quickly. 

Rolled into the room. Positioned the bed and I remember saying, "I'm already in a bed. Guess I don't have to move do I?" Was told that they changed me back in recovery. Really? When did that happen? I sure don't remember. They were busy hooking things up. Tube here. Oxygen around the nose. You will need this while you are here, I was told. OK. If you say so. Then Penny walked in. It was good to see her. She came over and gave me a kiss and everything was all right in my world. 

It amazes me to lay there in the bed and know nothing about what took place. Can you move your feet? Um, no. Try as I like, they won't move. Come on feet, you can do it. As I focus on my feet other things take place. I have to be honest, I don't remember much at that point. I think I slept. I think. I do know that I moved my feet. Felt like the man in black from Princess Bride. He just moved his finger. We have a castle to storm and you are excited about him moving his finger. I moved my feet. Look at that. They do move. Now for the legs. Nope, not happening yet. I think I had a few crackers and sprite. I think. I am not sure. I do know that people kept coming and going. Asking questions, which I would answer. I can see why you are not supposed to do anything after surgery. I could have sold my kingdom and wouldn't have known it. 

Then Kenda came in. If you don't know Kenda, let me tell you, sheis the Phsycial Therapist that gets you up and going. She was going to get me out of bed. Seriously? Out of bed. They just replaced my knee joint and you want me out of bed? And walking? No way. But there I was, standing next to the bed. Thank God for pain meds. That is the only way it was possible. Then with walker in hand, Kenda on the gate belt, I took a step. WOW! A step. Then another. I remember asking, "I am supposed to look straight ahead and not down, right?" Really? At this moment, that is what you ask? Where to look? I just wanted my feet to move and they were. We walked out of the door, into the hall and down the hall. We walked for what seemed like hours. It was barely to the next room and then turned around and came back. Felt like it was a mile or two. Looked up and there was Penny, facetiming our kids, showing them their dad getting ready to run a marathon. Time to get back in bed. Actually, if I remember right (and it is possible I don't), we went to the chair and I sat in the chair until supper time. 

Feet up. Sitting, watching, waiting, thinking, wondering. The afternoon moved into evening, supper came and Penny and I ate. The folks at the hospital do a good job. Not sure what it was that I ate. I think beef tips, the only reason I don't know is that I can't be 100% sure. I do know that it was good. Penny stayed until it was starting to get dark and she headed home. I wished I could go too but it wasn't to be. I wanted to talk the dogs into coming and breaking me out. We were at the end of the hall and it might work. But the dogs never answered their phones. Must have been busy doing dog things. 

About 8 I was put back into bed. I had sat up for several hours. Felt good but I was tired. Let moved but not easlily. How heavy is that leg anyway? 100 pounds? Seemed like it. Tomorrow will be another day. Hopefully wll go home Friday. If everything is working. And I was really trying to make sure it was working. I wish I could remember my day nurses names. But they are lost in the fog of medication. Krystan was my night nurse. Did a great job for me. There was another one, but I can't remember her name either. 

Heading into a knee replacement

 Sitting on the edge of the gurney, hunched over, chin to the chest, I hear, "This is going to be cold." And it was. Whatever was being smeared on my back was cold. "It will be cold again." Again, it was cold as it was smeared around my lower back. There was a little stick. The doctor was working quickly, and then there was the bandage or whatever it might have been that was supposed to be cold too. But it wasn't nearly as cold as the stuff he had smeared on my back. "All done." Then I swung my legs up and laid back on the table. Stretching one arm to the left, laying it on the arm rest thingy (not sure what it was called). After a little juggling and moving, another one was on the right side. My arm was stretched out onto it. And that was the last thing I remember. 

It was Thursday morning, October. 8. I entered the operating room at 8:58 a.m. That is what the nurse said. I was scheduled for a knee replacement at 9:00 a.m. so things were moving along on time. Was I nervous? Yes indeed. They were going to work on that right knee that had been giving me such trouble. I was anxious about it but took it to the Lord in prayer. I was talking to Him quite a bit that morning as I got ready to head to the hospital. Didn't sleep real well that night. Was thinking about what it would be like. I had no clue. Would it really hurt? On a scale of 1 to 10, what would it be? Time would tell, but, my oh my, I was not looking forward to the pain. Then again, who does look forward to pain? Do you get up in the morning and say, "I hope I have pain that is a 9 on the scale." Of course not. We look forward to being pain free. But that comes with some challenges.

The nurses were really nice as they got me ready. The called my name in the central waiting room. Walked over and answered some of Penny's questions. I wished they could answer mine, but only ime could answer mine. She would be able to wait in the central waiting during surgery. When they took me from recovery to my room, she would be able to go to the rooom with me. I was happy to hear that. She had always been the one that could help me through my difficult times. With a kiss, then another, I was walking back to my fate. What had I agreed to? Was there still time to back out? Could I just turn around and go home? Those thoughts raced through my mind as we walked back and they chatted with me about what was going to happen. How could they be so calm? My heart felt like it was beating a mile a minute (which it wasn't). 

Time to get changed. Opening the robe to the back. Oh yeah, so the whole world could see my fanny in all its glory. As if I would really care about that in a little while. But right now, I did care. Who wants to show off their backside to strangers, especially nurses in the OR prep area. Oh well, they have seen it all, really nice one and really ugly ones. Where did mine fall in the line of that? Who cares? But the silly things you think about. Modesty is the last thing that you have in the hospital so you hang onto it as long as you can. Soon, it won't matter. 

Need to hook up the heart monitor, the BP cuff and the oxygen thing on your finger. All looks good. BP was a little high. Really? I wonder why? They are going to be sawing and drilling on my leg. Ugh. Why did I do this again? Time for the IV. The student gets the joy of putting the IV in my hand. Watch out! This could be a problem. I remember in 1991 as they were preparing me to reconstruct my ankle, the student nurse couldn't get the IV in. Oh my goodness, I felt like I was going to pass out after the 3rd try. The doctor actually had enough and did it himself. But this little gal was slick as could be. She did a good job on the 1st try. Well done. Mica I think her name was. Things are a little foggy for me as I try to remember. Then comes a whole bunch of medicine. This pill for that, that pill for this. This shot in the IV will dry your mouth out, and it did. Only a little medicine cup of water to take the pills. Penny would be able to without a problem, me? I used the whole cup, wishing I had more. 

Then they shaved my leg. Shaved my toes even. My toes! Why did they shave my toes? I asked. So that it is all even on the leg. OK, makes sense I guess. Stand up to shave the back of the leg. Hold the robe together to keep my modesty. After all, they are nurses and have never been flashed before. Well, I didn't want to be the first one. 

Then laying back down and waiting. Soon. A steady progression of people - Jason guy who puts you out, the OR nurses and then the man himself! Dr. Boese. He came in, talked a few minutes, autographed my leg and said he would see me in the OR shortly. I had his autograph! WooHoo! What would I do with it? Nothing, cause it would wash off. Oh well, short lived joy.

Time to go. A quick kiss to Penny via text, and I was off. Boy was there a lot of things lined up on the table getting ready for this surgery. Slide over onto the other table. Sit up, it will be cold, and then, lights out......

Just wandering through the morning

Cool, crisp air. The wind is beginning to pick up. The sky is clear. The bright moon shines overhead, having just passed being full a couple days ago. Listening to the rustling leaves as the wind blows through the trees. The sky is just beginning to brighten on the eastern horizon as the sun begins to rise. Yes, it is a typical fall morning. I give thanks to God for this day.

What a weekend it was. Why? Not because anything strange went on in our lives, but because the President went to the hospital, having contracted Covid. Prayers for him and the first lady. I don't wish covid on anyone. Listening to the news over the weekend, it was amazing to hear all the different points of view on what is going on in his life. Everyone seemed to know what was taking place, even though it was all over the place. There are those who were supportive and those who were not. There were those who were praying for him and those who refused. Like I say, all over the board. 

Me, I lifted them up in prayer, asking the Lord to bring them healing. In the same way I lift up everyone who is ill, whether it is with covid or with any other illness. It doesn't matter who they are - I lift them up in prayer. It doesn't matter if I agree with someone's political stance or not, I pray for them. I pray for folks, asking the Lord to bring health and healing to them. I would hope that this would be the way that all folks act. 

I look forward to the colors of the trees, as they have begun to change. As Penny and I drove around yesterday, we saw more yellows, a little bit of reds and mostly the dusty greens of trees that are preparing to change. Over the next couple of weeks, there will be some great colors. We love to see the colors. Makes fall a special time of the year. Actually, fall is probably my favorite season of the year. Yes, I like summer with the hot, sunny, humid weather. I rejoice in spring with the new life coming out and the hints of warmth in the air. I do like winter with the cold, snow and gray days (though I don't like the cold as much as I did when I was younger, just ask Penny how much I complain about the cold). But fall, what a wonderful time of the year. 

Going to be a a good week, a challenging week, a week of changes and a week of struggles. I pray that the Lord will be with you as you go through this week. Celebrate the wonder of what this week will bring to you. I do know that the Lord will be with you in whatever takes place. Yes, thank You Lord for being with each of us and watching over all of us. 

Have a great day! And an even better week! 

Yes, there is fog in all our lives.

 I looked around as I let the dogs out this morning. I do that every morning. I look to the east to see if the sky is brightening. In the summer, the sun is already up and shining when I let them out. At this time of the year, the sun often doesn't come up till I am letting the dogs back inside. I looked up, to see the stars or the moon, if they are still out. But this morning, as I looked up, I saw very little. I looked north, and saw less than usual. I looked west, and things were not so clear. What was going on? Did the eyes that I just had corrected start to have problems. No, they were all right. This morning, it was foggy.

Really foggy. There are mornings when it is foggy outside the town. I can look down Washington to the east and see the fog over the river as I drive to church. But today, it was really thick, all over the place thick. Oh, I knew it would lift sooner than later. But this morning, the fog had rolled in and clouded my vision.

Sin does that very same thing. It will roll in and cloud my vision. That is what sin does. It clouds our vision to see the path that the Lord would have us travel. It makes the path ahead of us look dark and dangerous and the path that we just traversed look foreign and different. Sin makes our vision of the Lord foggy. Sometimes it is not too bad, we see it from afar, like seeing the fog on the river outside of town. Other times, it is really foggy, like driving in the middle of the night through pea soup thick fog. No matter what light you have on, you still have to slow down because you can't see. You try the high beams and that only blinds you more, making it harder to see at all. Yes, sin does that. There are times in our lives when we get so wrapped up in our sin that we cannot see the truth (and perhaps, we don't want to see the truth because we like our sin, perhaps even enjoy our sin). So we muddle along, groping for something to guide us, only to see that the sinful action, the sinful thoughts, the sinful situation, offers no hope or guidance. Sin says you and me, "You are on your own now, sucker! You thought I was good for you. Forget it! I am here to cause you nothing but trouble." Sometimes we see that, other times we don't want to listen to sin. We prefer to crawl around, lost in the (what we think is) bliss of sin. Only to be lost. Perhaps we cause ourselves major problems, like driving 60 mph in the thick nighttime fog only to have that deer step in front of us, at the moment we are there, unable to brake or to turn, only to ram headlong into that which destroys and hurts us. Sin, fog, lostness.

Thanks be to Jesus that He does not leave us in that sin. He comes to us. His light breaks through the fog and gives us sight. He seeks us out. He finds us crawling around on the ground, groping blindly for something, clears the fog, lifts us to our feet, wipes off the dirt, cleans off the grass stains with His blood in the waters of Baptism, and once again, begins to lead us, as only a Good Shepherd can do. Oh, thank You Jesus! for seeking me out, for finding me in the fog of my sin, and clearing my vision and giving to me the wonder of life with You. Thank You for forgiveness. Thank You for rescuing me. Thank You for picking me up. Thank You for cleansing me. Thank You!

The fog has lifted. I can see again. And I rejoice. Songs of thankfulness and praise, I sing to God today for the clarity of faith that He has given to me. I pray, that He will give that to you as well. 

Off I go, walking the path that Jesus has placed me on today. 

Another trip around the sun

 Another year has come and gone. Today I celebrate another trip around the sun. It has been a challenging trip, a good trip, a joyous trip. Thhe first half of the year was good, the second half was also good, though it had some major bumps and grinds. This whole covid thing has really challenged all of us as we have gone through these days. 

I am thankful to the Lord for all the blessings that He has given me through this year. I thank God for the life that I have been given. Today, I look out my window, watching the sun beginning to brighten on the eastern horizon, thinking about life. 

I am blessed with a great family. Penny is a blessing to me. She has walked with me through all the years of my life except the first 17 years. I thank God for her and all she has done for me, the love she shares and the joy she brings to me. I give thanks for my children Rachael and Matthew and their spouses Brandon and Chelsey. I have to say that they were not difficult in their younger years. They were a joy to have around and I find myself missing them each day, as we are all living our lives in the places that the Lord has placed us. I also give thanks for Shirley, Penny's mom, as she has become a big part of our lives and I look forward to having her move to Clarinda.

I give thanks to the Lord for the friends and church members that I have come to know and care for. There are many that I truly do love. They became a part of my life and are in my heart. They have a special place in my heart as I have been able to give them the gift of love through Jesus Christ. Each one of you who are special to me, I love you. Thank you for being who you are and being a special part of my life. I give thanks to the Lord for you.

I look back and see the places the Lord too us, and I am amazed. Vicarage in north/central Iowa (Osage), St. Louis, Wisonsin, then back to Illinois at Harvel, Ferrin, Altamont and Troy, and now in back to Iowa, Clarinda. Who would have thought that the state I began in the ministry (Iowa) may well be the place where I bring that to a close (though I have many more years ahead of me, Lord willing).  Each of those places brought their own joy and challenges. Were they always good? I would love to say yes, but that would mean I wasn't leading the congregations. There were challenges because we moved forward to proclaim Christ in our communities. Sometimes we faced challenges and difficulties, but the Lord always moved us through those times so that the Gospel would be proclaimed. I have to say I have many more happy and blessed memories from each of those congregations than I could ever list. And the people that are now a part of life, here in Clarinda, are truly a blessing for Penny and me. I sat in church yesterday morning, looking out at the folks that were there, and thinking, "Thank You Lord. These are special people." (Let me be honest, I have said that each place I have served. I gave thanks for each place I served and I loved the people that the Lord had given to me to lead and care for.)

Each day is a blessing from the Lord. As I think about being another year older, I thank God. I thank Him for His love, His grace, His forgiveness, His strength, His mercy and all that I have received from Him day after day.

I want to thank each of you for the birthday wishes. I look forward to what this year will bring. I ask the Lord to lead me through them. Yes, He is my Shepherd who will guide me along whatever path He takes me. 

Lord, thank You for today, the sunrise, the love and the blessing. I bow my head in humble adoration. 

Thoughts on Fall

 It is that time of the year. Fall. Autumn. However you want to call it. This is my favorite time of the year. With the exception of last week, when we had those rainy, cold days which felt more like late October than the beginning of September, the weather tends to be really nice. Cool, crisp evenings and nights, sunny, warm days. Soon the colors will begin. The trees will begin to change. The reds, oranges, and yellows of the trees will cover the trees. The burning bushes will turn bright red. The mums will begin to show their colors. (It is about time to purchase the mums for the fall. Never like to buy them too soon, especially in August because it is too hot and dry. Can't keep them watered enough to keep them alive. At least that is what we have found.)

The one thing about fall that is challenging is the fact that you have to clean up your yard. The leaves will fall. We have a gingko tree. When it looses it's leaves, it does it all in one day. All those leaves come down and cover everything with those heavy green leaves. It will be a pain to rake them up and haul them away. Then there is that fruit of the tree. They have to be picked up. Why do we continue to have that tree? It is because it gives such wonderful shade in the summer. It keeps the house cool for about 2/3 of the day in the summer time. This is a case of putting up with the clean up because you want to have the blessing of the tree for a good part of the year. Good and bad - part of fall.

The garden did pretty well this year. Our tomatoes did really well. I still have 4 plants in the garden. I pulled up some of them already. The peppers did ok. Not as good as last year. The zucchini did really well, which was good because last year they didn't. Our green beans didn't do so well this year. Thanks rabbits, for nibbling them off when they were just coming up in the spring. Butternuts? I need to get out an pull them out and see how many butternut squash we actually grew this year. They are a great fall crop. We always have one at Thanksgiving. 

Speaking of thanksgiving, what are you thankful for at this time? It has been challenging with all the things that have been going on. But we need to stop, and see how we still are truly blessed by the Lord. Each day is a blessing that He has given to us. We need to see life in that way - blessings from the Lord. I give thanks to God for His love each day, for His grace and His mercy. 

All right, I rambled away from Fall. I really love this weather. Soon it will be sweater weather. That tends to come in late September and early October. I like sweaters, as those of you who know me are well aware. 

Just to mention, we have a drive through Fish Fry on Friday at St. John. Come over and pick up a meal or two. It will be good to see you.

Now go out an enjoy that wonderful fall weather. The sun is shining today. Thanks Lord. I ask that You would guide me today in all that I do.

Random Thoughts

 Random thoughts come to me at different times. Our country is struggling - with covid, with shut down, with going back to school, with racial issues, with abortion, with ... you can probably name what you see our country struggling with. 

Tonight is the first NFL game to be played. I won't watch it. I don't agree with the political statements being made by these players and teams. Why? Because when Christian players wanted to make a statement about their faith, they were told they couldn't. It wasn't appropriate. When some players wanted to support fallen/killed police officers, they were told they could not. Now it is ok to make statements, as long at it supports the left or the louder voices in our communities today. I saddens me. So, I am exercising my freedom by not watching football. I have to be honest, as much as I am a Chicago Cubs fan, I haven't watched any games this year. Nor do I check the standings to see how they are doing or if they won or lost. Once again, exercising my freedom to say, "no thank you." Play sports. You hit a baseball or catch a football. If you want to be a politician, then get into politics. I am sure that someone will get upset with that statement. That is your right just as it is my right to make it. 

Rain. Cold. The last couple days have been both rainy and cold. It sure has been some nasty weather. But then again, we are starting to move towards fall. This is just a foretaste of the time to come. I sit here and listen to the rain against the window. I am ready for the sun to shine again.

Tomorrow is an anniversary, an unfortunate anniversary. It is the 19th anniversary of the destruction of the World Trade Center towers by terrorists. I can remember that day plainly. The sky was clear. Penny and I lived in Ferrin, IL at the time. The congregation was cooking open kettle apple butter on that day. I couldn't believe that it happened. I watched the events unfold. I remember talking with the school children at Trinity Lutheran School, Hoffman, IL where my kids were students. We listened to God's Word. We prayed to the Lord for safety and peace in our hearts and lives. We sang songs. It was quite the day. I think most of us were in shock. Planes were grounded. Which is some areas didn't have an impact. But I remember how quiet it was. We lived on the flight path to St. Louis, MO. For many days, it was quiet. The sky was clear of all planes. I didn't realize how many flew over until they weren't. The sky was clear. It was quiet. It was strange.

I think about what Christ has done for all of us. When I think of that attack on the country, I realized how wicked the world was. As I see the riots in the cities today, I see how wicked the world is. When I see racisim hurting people, I realize how wicked the world is. When I hear about shootings and murders, the abuse of drugs and people, the pain that is brought into the lives of people, I realize how wicked the world is. And then, I realize that is exactly why the Son of God came into the world. We cannot free ourselves from this wickedness. It takes the work of the Holy Spirit to change our hearts, our thoughts and our actions. These many wickednesses can only be changed as our hearts are changed. Without the Lord making us new, these wicked actions will continue. No changes will happen, no matter how many laws are made or protests are done. 

Yes, the Lord came for this reason. The Son of God became man. He took upon Himself the sins of the world. He went to the cross on behalf of each and every person who has lived, was living or would live. He went to the cross for my sins. I rejoice that He has done this for me. I rejoice that He has done that for you. He is the only One who can heal my heart, your heart and our nation. As we change, we can begin to change the world. Let's listen to His Word. Let's be changed by the Spirit. And let's change the world. 

I know, rambling. I do that. I pray that your day will be blessed. May the Spirit change your heart. So that you will become part of the change.