Change

 Change. Who out there likes change? Who seeks out change? I know that I prefer to kee things the way they are. Don't change things on me. Let things remain like they are. It is for sure that whenever change comes, I get anxious, concerned and begin to wonder if it is necessary or needed. Change. Don't do it.

But then I thought about change. Change is all around. The seasons are changing. The warmth of summer has given way to the coolness of fall which gives way to the cold of winter (though it is not winter yet). The beautiful green of the trees has given way to the reds, yellow and oranges of fall. Oh how I love to see the colors of fall. It is so pretty to see the colors against the background of a bright blue fall sky. 

But wait, that is change. It is a change that I don't mind. So I guess I don't mind all change. Just certain change. Then again, when I see these changes of the trees, it reminds me that there is a greater change coming. It is called winter. So maybe that is the change that I don't like. But then again, I do not mind winter either. I don't like to have the bitter cold, but then again, it is the way the weather is supposed to be so I don't mind it so much. 

So what other changes are there that I don't like? I like it when we get a new car, not that we have done that recently. But it is change. A change that I like. Though I didn't like how it happened last time (our last vehicle was totalled in a hail storm), I did like the outcome because I like our current vehicle. When we realized our tires were needing replaced, we made sure we had new tires on the van. We didn't mind that change, especially when driving in the rain. So that was a good change.

So changes isn't all bad. There are many things that have changed in our lives. It changes all the time. How many of us have indoor plumbing? That was a big change. Or instead of a land line, have a cell phone? How many changed from a flip phone (I know some of you still have the flip phone) to the iPhone? It was a change I fought but afterwards was thankful I did.

Yes, change is all around us and isn't always bad. But the reality is, there are some changes we don't like. Why? Because we don't like the outcome. The change that comes when the doctor says, "It's cancer." Or the change that happens when the phone rings and you hear, "There has been an accident." Or the change that takes place when you hear the words, "School will be closed starting tomorrow for the next 2 weeks." Or the change...

These changes challenge us. They are something we don't like. They push us out of our comfort zone. The changes cause our lives to collapse into a mess. Changes cause us to realize that we are not in control. We are not the ones that actually can control the situations of our lives. And that frustrates us. It fills us with anxiety. It makes us feel helpless and hopeless. It leads us into places that scare us, and make us realize - I am in need of someone or something other than myself.

That someone is none other that our Lord Jesus Christ. He does not change. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. His love never changes. His strength never fades. His guidance is always there. He is the Good Shepherd that leads us through the valley of the shadow of death. He is the One who cares for us, carries us, loves us, helps us, and is always with us. 

As you face change today, don't face it by yourself. When you get bad news, when you feel overcome, when you are crushed by the word that comes to you, when the situation of your life is more than you can handle, turn your eyes from yourself to your Lord Jesus Christ. He is there for you. He is the one that will always help you through what you are facing. 

As I went to the hospital on Oct. 8th, I was scared. Change was coming. I was going to get a new knee, a knee replacement. It was a change that was more than I could imagine. So what did I do? Did I suck it up and convince myself that it would be all right? Nope. I turned to my Lord Jesus Christ. I talked to Him over and over again. I listened to His voice as He talked to me and assured me that I was not alone, that He was holding me. He told me that it would be all right. Yes, it would be painful. Yes, it would lead to weeks of change. But through it all, He told me that I could make it through, because He was with me. He would watch over me on the table. He would care for me in recovery. He would walk with me when they got me out of bed. He would enfold me in His arms as I struggle with the pain, the suffering, the frustration. So in this change, I could face it because I knew that I was not alone. 

You can have that same assurance. Trust in Your Lord Jesus Christ. He is with you. He will care for you. He will never leave you alone. In the midst of change, there is the changeless Lord that you can trust in. 

Lord, be with me in the changes that I face. 

Thoughts on Physical Therapy.

Physical therapy.  I have heard about it. People ahve talked about it. As a pastor, I have had many of members who have gone through PT in their lives - for knees, hips, shoulders, heart, and a whole host of other types of ailments. They have talkeda bout how good it is. They have also said that it is challenging for them. 

Now, I know what they were talking about. I have PT three days a week. Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Different time each day. I have had 3 different people - Kenda, Ed and Emily. They each have a different way of doing PT but each are challenging. Is one more challenging than another? Nope. Is one better than another? Nope. All three of them have done well for. They have all pushed me. They have each taken me right up to the limit, then pushed a little bit further.

Is it worth it? Yes it is. I remember one day when Ed was working with my leg, stretching and bending. And as I was just about to cry "uncle," I remembered that the end is what he is working towards. So I let him continue to get that leg working. Then he was done. I breathed a sigh of relief. And walked out. 

The squats on the machine, wow! How far has the knee bent? 120 degrees! It was just about all I could do to get to that point. I was at 118, and felt like I was at the end of what I could do. Then as it was measured, and was at 118, I said, I think I have more. Gritting my teeth, letting my body weight press a little bit more, it was 119. Enough? I would have stopped is Kenda did not ask if there was more. A little bit more, and it was 120! I rejoiced, stretched back and breathed a sigh of relief. Is that enough? Maybe we could get to 125 she said. My jaw drops open, and I think, "Wow! Really?" My left knee only is able to do 120. Is that really possible? Time will tell.

PT - not giving up. I think about that with my spiritual walk. There are times I feel like quitting. Life is tough. Life is really tough. There is so many times I feel like giving up. But the Holy Spirit is there, encouraging me, reminding me that I am not alone, that He is there with me. He strengthens me through His Word. He lifts me from despair. He feeds me with Christ's body and blood. And then, I find that with His help, I am able to continue on. I am able to push through the pain of life and the frustration of the situation, to that which is worthwhile. The Spirit strengthens me so that I can do all things through Him!!!! That is the amazing fact about my Lord Jesus Christ. When I feel like giving up, He lifts me. When I feel like I am being crushed, He puts the burden on His shoulders and lifts me up. When I am overcome, He holds me in His arms, binds up my wounds, and then helps me to continue on. I rejoice in the life and love that the Lord gives to me. 

Has it been easy? Nope. Do I feel like giving up at times? Yep. Do I? Nope. Why? Because of my Lord Jesus Christ who is with me, because of my Father who holds me, because of the Spirit who strengthens me. My God is my refuge and strength. An every present help in trouble. I give thanks to my Lord for all He has done for me. 

Why do I tell you this? Because He is there for you too. He is your Lord. He is your Savior. He is your refuge and strength. In your struggles, do not turn from the Lord. In your PT of life, know that He never turns from you. He will hold you, lift you, and push you to contine on in life.

A story of staples

 Have you ever had something coming that you dreaded? You were sure that it was going to be awful. There was no way that you would make it through the situation. You thought about it, again and again, and the outcome was going to be bad no matter how it played out. That, my friends, is how I felt about today. Why today?

Today was the day that I was going to get the staples out of my knee. If you remember, when it was cleaned up while in the hospital, I had a pretty awful reaction. I thought about the staples coming out and I figured it would be just as bad. Every time I thought about it I knew it was going to be bad. I dreaded this day. I was going to go in and the doctor was going to remove them. I just knew that I was going to pass out again. I knew it was going to hurt. I knew it was going to be a terrible, bad, awful day.

Dr. D. came in. She had all the tools. The moment of truth. She started to take the bandage off. Peeling it down. "Oh boy, what is it going to be like?" I wondered to myself. She peeled it down. I didn't want to look and yet I knew I wanted to. So what did I do? I looked. And...

...it wasn't so bad. There was no blood. There was no redness in the incension. It actually looked good. The doc cleaned it up and kept talking to me. I asked how many staples there were - 14. So she started. One, two, three...and it was going well. No pinching. No pain. Nothing like I expected. Four, five, six...and we kept talking. Seven, eight, nine, ten...and things just kept going well. She was doing a great job. Did I have any doubt? Not about her but about me and how I would do. Eleven, twelve, thirteen and fourteen. They were all out! And it wasn't so bad.

I couldn't believe it. It wasn't as bad as I expected. Why did I dread this so much? Dr. D. applied glue to it in order to make sure it didn't pull apart. Put on the sani strips. And it was over. 

That is the way life is. At times the dread of a situation is often worse than the situation itself. Instead of spending so much time and energy dreading something, I should have turned it over to Jesus, let Him have the fear and face it with a confidence that comes from Him. Yes, the Lord taught me a lesson today. A lesson of 14 staples.

Wrapping up the Journey

 Rather than bore you with how the recovery continued to go, I have some thoughts to share. I did miss going to worship Sunday morning. Penny got up. Helped me get cleaned up and ready for the day, which wasn't going to have much go on anyway. I went out onto the porch with the dogs while Penny went to church. I sat on the porch, listened to a couple different devotions, reflected on the beauty of God's creation, listened to the wind blow through the trees, watching the people go by. I was amazed to see some of St. John members drive by. Reminded me that not everyone is going to worship yet. But I wondered why were they out and about on Sunday morning if they didn't feel safe going to worship? That is always the question that I have. I leave that in their lives. It is not for me to judge. I do know that I missed being at worship that morning. I missed the fellowship. I missed the Word. I missed the whole worship experience. I do know that I was preaching that morning. What? How as that possible? I had prepared the sermon earlier in the week, and had gotten together with Casey and he recorded the sermon. Actually, he recorded it twice, for the first time the sound didn't come through. I guess that gave me a chance to run through the sermon once before it was fully recorded. So I did attend worship in spirit and via the magic of electronic medium. 

 After service, had a family stop and visit. It was good to see someone from church. One of the things that I would say is that I didn't have very many visitors. I think folks thought one of two things: 1) I needed the time to recover and 2) they thought I would have plenty of company and they didn't want to bother me. To be honest, I would have loved company. As Penny went to work on Monday, I was left home alone. I know that my thoughts were kind of cloudy because of the medication. It took all week for my mind to become clear. I didn't do much work. Why? I couldn't think clearly. But I would have gladly welcomed visitors. Might have even helped to clear the mind. I napped. I sat. I got up and walked. I stretched my leg. I bent my leg. I moaned and groaned. I went to PT. I learned more about what to do to make the leg work. Each time at PT, it was a greater challenge because they pushed me harder and further. I am happy to do that because I keep my eyes on the end results, being able to walk without pain or problems. That is the goal. That is why I had the knee replaced to begin with. 

The one thing I thought I was ready for was the pain. It was very painful when the pain meds from the surgery wore off. There had been the spinal, the general and the local. As each of those wore off, the pain began to grow. On a scale of 1-10, what would be the pain. A 2. A 4. An 8. It just depended. But I could tell when the pain meds would wear off. The level would rise. Even now, I can tell that. It is knee replacement day plus 14 days (2 weeks) and I know when the pain meds wear off. Mornings are probably the worse. The leg gets stiff. The meds wear off. And I don't take them right away when I get up. So it throbs.

I thought I was ready for the pain. But I wasn't. I think about that regularly. I think about how much it does hurt. Then I think of what they did. And it makes perfect sense why it hurts. I don't like taking all the pain meds. There is always that fear that you are going to become dependent on them. I sure don't want that to happen. Nor do I think that it will but you always have that in the back of your mind.

I did finally start to get out at the end of the 1st week. I went to PT. The first time I think I sat in the van while Penny ran into the store. Didn't feel like walking around inside. The next time she went to the store, I went in with her. I didn't use the walker. Call it vanity. Call it what you want but I didn't want to walk through the store with a walker, So what did I do? I got a cart and used that to walk with. No speed walking through the store. Had a perscription to pick up. Wasn't too bad. Tired me out. What do you expect? Did it again a few days later and it wasn't so bad. Still used the cart for my support. 

Last weekend was pretty good. Went to the Touch of Love Breakfast at St. John. Nice to actually sit and visit with the folks. Was a fun morning. Rested that afternoon. Actually I think it was right after we got home. Then worship on Sunday morning. Once again, a blessing. Word and Sacrament given and fellowship of the body. How nice it was! I had only been out for one weekend, and 2 weeks, but I felt so disconnected from what was going on. It helped seeing people, talking with them, seeing their smiles and hearing their words of encouragement. Sunday evening was a Fall Family Festival at Henkeville. That was fun. Lots of people. Plenty of hot dogs, chili and other things. Didn't stay the whole time. A little is as good as a feast, someone famous once said. 

So at I sit here on Wednesday, exactly 2 weeks after surgery, I see the improvements that I have made. The leg is stronger. The pain not quiet so severe. I look back, remember what I have gone through and think to myself, "I wasn't ready for that." It is for sure that I thought I had it figured out but it sure rouded the corner and knocked me over. Will I have the other one done? Yes. It needs fixed and if I have to face a few weeks of pain and inconvienence, it is worth it. Thinking about it, I am still amazed. I am walking on a let that 2 weeks ago was taken apart, cleaned and had new parts put into it, all the while not cutting or destroying the muscles or tendons. The Lord has truly blessed us with some really briliant minds that have come up with the procedures and the hardware for it, and those with the ability to accomplish the task. Thanks, Lord! It is amazing.

The journey continues. Challengings? Yes. Will I give up? Nope. The ultimate outcome outweighs the few weeks of problems. So here I go, facing more PT, and the rest of what this journy means for me. 

Saturday comes and goes

 Sleep was not easy that night. I thought perhaps since I was home, I would sleep much better than I did in the hospital. But that wasn't going to be the case. Nope. Sleep wouldn't be so easy. Both dogs went upstairs like they usually did. I think Zeb wasn't really sure where I was since I had been gone the night before and he figured I was gone again this night. After all, who ever sleep down on the main floor, besides Grandma when she comes to visit. 

I woke up every 45 minutes to an hour. Had to get up, go to the bathroom, try to keep the bladder working for fear of what would happen if it didn't. Thinking to myself that I hope I didn't get sick again. Thankfully, I didn't. I would take a drink of water before going to bed, so that I wouldn't get dehydrated. That is the last thing I wanted to have happen. Or at least one of the many things that I didn't want to have happen. A few sips of water, back in bed, lifting the right leg because it would not lift itself. No amount of coaxing could get it going. Have you ever tried to get your computer to work by sweet talking it? Did it ever work? Of course not. Neither did trying to talk to my leg. Guess no softward installation yet. Updates had to be coming so that it could go online. 

Morning came, none to soon. What a miserable night of sleep. Fitfully at best, not much at all at worst. I wasn't used to that. I normally fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow and stay asleep all night. If I have to get up at night, I fall right back to sleep. So to not sleep is a foreign concept to me. I am beginning to understand what it is like for some of you who are awake at night. Oh, how I love Jesus, I sing to myself, hoping that this will help me. It does, but sleep still never came. Long night. Oh so long. But little did I know that the Saturday would bring challenges of its own. 

Penny came down, checked on me. What a great nurse she is. I give thanks to God for her. I would be grumbling at her over the next few days. I would snap at her. And I would apologize to her. I don't mean to be mean. I don't mean to snap. It just happens. Amazing how sin finds its way out of our hearts at times like this. She is gracious and forgiving. 

I don't know how the morning really played out. I do know that we tried some dry toast and tea. Maybe that would be all right. Soon and very soon, it wasn't. Garbage can in hand, the dogs left the room. I don't blame them. I wanted to leave the room too. Boy did it hurt. It wasn't because of medicine we decided, because I hadn't taken any yet. A little bit later. It happened again. Can it get much worse? I crawled back into bed. Penny helped me. Took care of me. 

She called the surgery number. Told them what was going on and the good man put in an order for Zofran to help with the nausea. Back in the bedroom, what was left inside of my stomach made an appearance. Hurt worse than ever since not much was there. Laying down, Penny kissed me and said she was going for the medicine at Hyvee. 

Before I knew it, she was back. They had received the order yet. No Zofran. I don't know if she called or if the surgery center called but she got word that my medicine was ready. Off she went again. Eyes closed, weird dreams and she was back. A small pill that dissolved under the tongue. Tasted like grape at first then became nasty taste. But it worked Calmed the stomach. Was able to keep things down! Thank God for modern medicine. 

Had chicken soup for lunch. I do know that it tasted good. And it stayed down. Praise God! The rest of the day was kinda blurry. I know I sat up for a bit. I slept for a bit. I took medicine when I was told to take it. And I muddled through the day. 

Dreams. Really weird dreams. Dreams of lots of people Everytime I closed my eyes, there were people talking, standing around. People here, people there. And I could hear them talking. Crazy conversations. Where did all these people come from? I don't know. They would show up in my dreams, talk, laugh, carry on. Strangeness. Medicine does strange things. 

I know I did not do service that night. There was no way. I did preach though. How? Through the wonder of technology. I preached a sermon for recording on Monday and Casey played it for the sermon Saturday.

That's right, I remember some things. I received a phone call from Ritchie Funeral Home. Rae Ann Mellencamp passed away suddenly. I was in shock. The funeral would be this coming week. Would I be doing the funeral? The mind said yes. The heart said yes. The body? No software yet. Haden't been installed yet. But I had it in my mind I was going to do the funeral. Can you tell I wasn't thinking straight? Two days after surgery and I thought I could do a funeral the coming week. Penny, the one that seems to give good advice when I need it, suggested making a couple of phone calls. So I did. Called my chairman. Called me head elder. And both those men were much wiser than me, also they were not recovering from surgery and have heads muddled with medicine and legs without software. They guided me to acknowledge that I couldn't. I give thanks to God for those who give good guidance. Called Darrell Mellencamp and talked with him. My heart went out to him. I couldn't imagine the shock he was going through. Thankfully we knew for certain that Rae Ann believed in Jesus as her Savior and was seeing him face-to-face. Praise the Lord. Called the funeral home, let them know I couldn't do it. Talked with Pastor Tompkins who would do the funeral. Thank you. (Can you imagine, I was able to do all that even while not feeling the best. God is good. The Holy Spirit guides. Jesus saves. Praise the Lord!)

What did we do in the evening. Played Words with Friends. We like to do that. It is like Scrabble, only electronic. The day was soon coming to an end. I am sure that much more happened during the day but I must have missed it. I slept. I sat. I watched Penny. I petted the dogs. I slept. I waited. Thinking - soon and very soon, this will be over. My leg felt like it weighed 100 pounds. I couldn't lift my foot off the floor onto a stool or onto the bed. When would the software be installed? Maybe tomorrow. Maybe.

The night was coming. Penny tucked me into bed. Wrapped my leg in ice. Gave me medicine. Kissed me good night. Zeb stayed the night with me. Wrigley too. And I drifted off to sleep with all the people who would come and visit me. Who were there people anyway? ZZZZZZ

Home at last! What will it be like?

 It was that simple. I was heading home from the hospital after having a new knee installed. I don't know if that is the official term for it. But I had new hardware. Now I just needed to instal the software to get it moving right. Kinda like a new computer without software is useless, so a new knee without the right software was pretty worthless. How did I know? Have you ever tried to get into a vehicle the day after knee surgery. Looks easy. Just sit down, slide and turn. Yeah, right. In theory it is easy. But the hardward and the software were not working together. The brain said, "All right leg, let's get in." The leg responded, "Huh? There is no program telling me how to do that." The brain responded, "Yes there is. It says right here in the files, 'let into vehicle, how to.' So let's do it." "Nope," the leg responded and just hung there. So Megan, the nurse, ever helpful and wanting to get this crazy vagaling person out of the area, reaches down and helps lift the leg to get into the van. "Warning! Warning!" the lights flash, an alarm goes off, and the leg says, "What are you doing?" as it is gingerly put into the van. Sitting there, panting, the door closes with, "Hope you do well." And Megan goes dancing down the walk pushing the wheelchair. Was that a leap of joy that I just saw her do? Wait, that must be the pain killers talking for that isn't what happened. Anyway, buckled into the seat, Penny drives me home. 

Window down, fresh air blowing through my hair. You want the truth? I don't remember if the window was up or down. I don't even remember if it was warm. I think it was. But who knows? Maybe it wasn't. The mind was a little foggy and doesn't remember. Watching out the window, I wondered how this was going to work. Getting home was just the first step. 

Pulling up to the house, the first sign of trouble filled my head. I didn't feel the greatest. But it must just be thr ride home. Or the medicine. Or whatever. Penny comes around to the passenger side door, opens it (at least she might have or maybe I did, I don't remember), gets my walker out of the back, sets it up, and helps me out of the van. "Warning! Warning!" Lights flashing, warning alarms going off, as the leg is bent just enough to clear the door frame. Stepping down, and holding onto the walker, I look at the door. It must have been a half block away. Look at that. How am I going to ever walk that far. All right, it was only 6-7 feet away, but it looked further. 

Penny unlocked the door, and the dogs come out. They come over and say hello, wagging their tails, sniffing happily at the one who was gone only overnight but it seemed a lot longer. They went into the yard and the next challenge, one step into the house. One step.  Up with the good...so place the walker inside the door, reach up and take hold of the doorframe, lift the left leg up and in, followed by this leg that hasn't had the chance to have the software installed yet. Was it hard? Nope. Was it easy? Nope. It jsut was. I was inside. Hurrah! The war is won, so I thought. 

Walking inside, I go to sit down at the table. I have no clue what time it is. Penny has chicken soup on the stove. Smells really good. Now at this moment, I don't really know what happened. Did I go to my study/room where my bed was? Did I go to the kitchen table to sit down? I don't know. I don't remember. I was in the house and have no clue what I did. I do know that soon it got to be close to supper time. I walked out the the kitchen table. The warning lights weren't going off so that is good. Maybe the software was being installed. Maybe it wasn't. Time would tell.

But sitting there, thinking of eating, things were turning bad quickly. I wasn't feeling well. The stomach was starting to rebel. Suffice it to say, without going into detail, that lunch revisited, several times. Oh the pain. The retchedness of it all! Warning lights flashing. Nothing is staying down. Several times. Water? Nope? Crackers? Nope. Nothing. After a few times of painful and totally removal of that which was inside my stomach, we (meaning Penny led me and helped me) went to the study/room, and got into bed. "Warning! Warning!" Lights flashing. Siren sounding. No, the software was not installed. The leg would not lift on the floor to the bed. Penny helped me, God bless her. She is such a caring wife, showing her love in caring for this sick and weak old man. That is how I felt. How could such an old guy have such a young gal caring for him? The Lord is good to me, much better than I deserve.

Laying back, I finally relax. I think I took medicine. I don't really know. Perhaps. Or perhaps not. I am not even sure if I went to sleep or stayed awake. But it passed. Evening came, we sat up in the living room, playing Word with Friends. How did I get there? I walked. Software must be installing. Ice wrap. Blanket wrapped around me. Garbage can next to me. At some point, more extraction too place. Terrible when the dogs leave the room because of what is taking place. 

And then, after the game is over, not sure who won, I was back in bed. Ready to face a fitfull night of sleep. But I was home! That is all that counted. Tomorrow would be another day. It had to be better. Maybe overnight the software for the leg would finally be installed and all would be good. Drifting off into sleep, I hear the universe chuckle. "Yeah right," it says to me. "Just you wait till tomorrow." 

Good night Lord. Closing my eyes, prayer on my lips, I drift into a fitfull, medication induced sleep. Maybe...just maybe

Friday morning and a New Knee! WoW!

 The night passed. I would like to say that I slept all night long. All right, I will say it. "I slept all night long." But that isn't the truth. The fact is, I slept fitfully. How do you get comfortable when your leg feels like it weighs a hundred pounds, they kep coming in to do something and you have to use the urinal. Or at least, you have to try to use the urinal, or whatever that thing is that men have to use when they lay in a hospital bed. My bladder was supposed to wake up. I had 8 hours to go. And I barely made that time frame. The hurse gave me a pass. Thankfully. The other otion didn't sound like any fun. But I really had to go and it just wasn't working right. So I would wake up and try. Then go back to sleep. The nurse would come in and I would go back to sleep. The lady across the hall would yell and then i would go back to sleep. And it would start all over. Seemed like if I got a 1/2 hour of sleep I was doing good. Why couldn't the pain meds just knock me out? But they didn't. They did help the pain. That was good.

About 10:00 p.m. on Thursday night, I looked down at my leg just to see how things looked (as I if I could see anything with all the bandage and guaze and stuff) and there was blood on my bandage and my bed. Hold on here. I might not be a nurse but I knew something wasn't quite right. So I quickly pressed my nurse button. I took a picture of it and sent it to Penny. I have to be honest, it scared me. You aren't supposed to bleed through your bandage. But the Doc did tell Penny I bled a lot during surgery, so that it shouldn't be a surprise. But I was surprised and concerned. The nurse came in. "May I help you?" Yes, I said, pulling back my sheet, I don't think this is supposed to happen. She looked at it. Turned the lights on, and said she would get the floor nurse (or whatever they call the head nurse for the night). He came in, and soon they were taking the bandage off. Yuck! It was full of blood. They wiped it up. Cleaned it up. Checked it out. Then after a bit, wrapped it up. Then they changed the bed.

Being able to stand helped. I got out of bed so they could change it. And the dilemma was back. Those hospital gowns don't cover everything. And my modesty was back. I wanted to keep the world from seeing my backside. Who wouldn't? I know it isn't anything special to look at but it is mine and no one but the mrs. should be looking at it. So I stood there, trying to hold my robe together while the 3 of them changed the bed. I know it was routine for them. I am amazed at how effecient they are. They quickly changed the dressing, the bed and got things cleaned up, and then was done. They helped me back to bed. Yes, they had to lift my leg back into the bed because it wanted to remain firmly situated on the floor instead of joining me in bed. That is the way legs that have been abused act. 

Thenthe night began. Doze, wake up, try to go, be frustrated, doze, nurse come in, doze, noise outside the door, doze and then look at the time, only an hour had passed. It was like that all night. Was it a bad night? No. Just wasn't a restful night. 

Finally morning came - at about 4:00 am. when they had to draw blood, change bags of fluids, give medicine, check vitals and whatever else they needed to do. I was in a daze. I still was amazed at what had taken place. Thankfully, no more bleeding. All was right in the world once again. 

I was able to get up and sit in the chair (with help of course). That was so much better than sitting in the bed. I dozed. Then breakfast came in. Not all by itself, but carried by one of the wonderful folks from dietary. A good breakfast. More than I could eat. But I had my hot tea! Yum. That helped make the world right. A doctor came in and talked with me. About what? I don't remember. Occupational therapy was there at 8:00 am. I got to brush my teeth. I moved around. She helped me learn how to do basic things. Then came PT. Kenda was a good gal. Walked me down to the end of the hall. Thankfully she didn't leave me there. She walked me back again. Taught me about a step so I could get into the house. One step. Up with the good, down with the bad. I knew that one already. I think about that each week when doing stairs in worship. But often had to ask, which one is good and which one is bad? It depended on the day. 

Penny arrived at some time. I really couldn't tell you what time it was but it was good to see her. Like breath of fresh air coming into the room. So they told us that I had my walking orders. Megan would get me ready to go. All right! Home! Here we come.

But it got dicey before heading home. Megan changed dressing. I mean she changed all of it. Took the main bandage off. Got to see the knee, the cut, the staples. We were talking. Penny and Megan talking about the fact that I vagal easily. That means that I will have a vasogal attack or faint. Big time. Not a simple little thing. I hate it. Happened in several of my heart caths that I had. Once I vagaled twice, once at the beginning of the procedure and another when they took the sheath out. What happens? There is a rapid drop in heart rate and blood pressure. And you faint. My vision gets funky. I have trouble talking. Anyway, they were talking about that and I remember telling Penny, "It is happening." She looked at me and could tell I was a goner. "Keep looking at me," she said, but I wasn't able. Ugh, terrible, awful feeling. Give me surgery over vagaling anytime. So there I was, sweating, white as the paint on the wall, unable to see anything or focus on anything. And then, finally, coming out of it. "Sorry," was all I could say. Megan and Penny continued talking. Megan said she didn't need to actually see what happens when I do that. Sorry about that. 

Megan was usually a surgery nurse but was on the floor Friday because they were shorthanded and hand lots of patients (just to note, not because of covid, but because of lots of patients). She was actually one of my nurses during surgery. That was cool. She was laughing and said that it was funny the things I was saying after surgery (let it be known I do not remember any of this). I guess I told them they did a great job. They were an amazing team. That I loved them all. I appreciated them. She just laughed about it. Said it was fun to have someone like that. Made their day. 

Anyway, after that encounter, we got ready to go. Penny ran home because we didn't know how long it would be. When she got back, Megan took us through the routine check out procdures. Penny went to get the van and I was wheeled out of the hospital.

I had a new knee! How totallly awesome is that? I was amazed. I was pleased. I was in pain. But I was heading home! Fresh air. Sitting in the van. riding home. And the beat goes on. Thank You Lord for the past 24 hours which were beyond amazing. So many good people taking care of me. The Lord watching over me. And nothing would be then same anymore. Couldn't be. I had a new knee!

After surgery and in the room I go.

 ...the next thing I was aware of is, I really am not sure. It all gets kinda foggy. I don't remember coming to in recovery, though I guess I did. I remember rolling down the hallway, they stopped at central waiting to get Penny and she wasn't there. She had gone home to let the dogs out. Why? It had only been a couple minutes since I went into surgery. Surely they could wait a few more minutes. That's the way it felt. I remember laying down, putting my right arm out and then nothing. I guess it must have been about 3 hours later. Penny told me that she left as they got me into recovery. Said it would be about an hour so she had plenty of time. Crazy. Guess I recover quickly. 

Rolled into the room. Positioned the bed and I remember saying, "I'm already in a bed. Guess I don't have to move do I?" Was told that they changed me back in recovery. Really? When did that happen? I sure don't remember. They were busy hooking things up. Tube here. Oxygen around the nose. You will need this while you are here, I was told. OK. If you say so. Then Penny walked in. It was good to see her. She came over and gave me a kiss and everything was all right in my world. 

It amazes me to lay there in the bed and know nothing about what took place. Can you move your feet? Um, no. Try as I like, they won't move. Come on feet, you can do it. As I focus on my feet other things take place. I have to be honest, I don't remember much at that point. I think I slept. I think. I do know that I moved my feet. Felt like the man in black from Princess Bride. He just moved his finger. We have a castle to storm and you are excited about him moving his finger. I moved my feet. Look at that. They do move. Now for the legs. Nope, not happening yet. I think I had a few crackers and sprite. I think. I am not sure. I do know that people kept coming and going. Asking questions, which I would answer. I can see why you are not supposed to do anything after surgery. I could have sold my kingdom and wouldn't have known it. 

Then Kenda came in. If you don't know Kenda, let me tell you, sheis the Phsycial Therapist that gets you up and going. She was going to get me out of bed. Seriously? Out of bed. They just replaced my knee joint and you want me out of bed? And walking? No way. But there I was, standing next to the bed. Thank God for pain meds. That is the only way it was possible. Then with walker in hand, Kenda on the gate belt, I took a step. WOW! A step. Then another. I remember asking, "I am supposed to look straight ahead and not down, right?" Really? At this moment, that is what you ask? Where to look? I just wanted my feet to move and they were. We walked out of the door, into the hall and down the hall. We walked for what seemed like hours. It was barely to the next room and then turned around and came back. Felt like it was a mile or two. Looked up and there was Penny, facetiming our kids, showing them their dad getting ready to run a marathon. Time to get back in bed. Actually, if I remember right (and it is possible I don't), we went to the chair and I sat in the chair until supper time. 

Feet up. Sitting, watching, waiting, thinking, wondering. The afternoon moved into evening, supper came and Penny and I ate. The folks at the hospital do a good job. Not sure what it was that I ate. I think beef tips, the only reason I don't know is that I can't be 100% sure. I do know that it was good. Penny stayed until it was starting to get dark and she headed home. I wished I could go too but it wasn't to be. I wanted to talk the dogs into coming and breaking me out. We were at the end of the hall and it might work. But the dogs never answered their phones. Must have been busy doing dog things. 

About 8 I was put back into bed. I had sat up for several hours. Felt good but I was tired. Let moved but not easlily. How heavy is that leg anyway? 100 pounds? Seemed like it. Tomorrow will be another day. Hopefully wll go home Friday. If everything is working. And I was really trying to make sure it was working. I wish I could remember my day nurses names. But they are lost in the fog of medication. Krystan was my night nurse. Did a great job for me. There was another one, but I can't remember her name either. 

Heading into a knee replacement

 Sitting on the edge of the gurney, hunched over, chin to the chest, I hear, "This is going to be cold." And it was. Whatever was being smeared on my back was cold. "It will be cold again." Again, it was cold as it was smeared around my lower back. There was a little stick. The doctor was working quickly, and then there was the bandage or whatever it might have been that was supposed to be cold too. But it wasn't nearly as cold as the stuff he had smeared on my back. "All done." Then I swung my legs up and laid back on the table. Stretching one arm to the left, laying it on the arm rest thingy (not sure what it was called). After a little juggling and moving, another one was on the right side. My arm was stretched out onto it. And that was the last thing I remember. 

It was Thursday morning, October. 8. I entered the operating room at 8:58 a.m. That is what the nurse said. I was scheduled for a knee replacement at 9:00 a.m. so things were moving along on time. Was I nervous? Yes indeed. They were going to work on that right knee that had been giving me such trouble. I was anxious about it but took it to the Lord in prayer. I was talking to Him quite a bit that morning as I got ready to head to the hospital. Didn't sleep real well that night. Was thinking about what it would be like. I had no clue. Would it really hurt? On a scale of 1 to 10, what would it be? Time would tell, but, my oh my, I was not looking forward to the pain. Then again, who does look forward to pain? Do you get up in the morning and say, "I hope I have pain that is a 9 on the scale." Of course not. We look forward to being pain free. But that comes with some challenges.

The nurses were really nice as they got me ready. The called my name in the central waiting room. Walked over and answered some of Penny's questions. I wished they could answer mine, but only ime could answer mine. She would be able to wait in the central waiting during surgery. When they took me from recovery to my room, she would be able to go to the rooom with me. I was happy to hear that. She had always been the one that could help me through my difficult times. With a kiss, then another, I was walking back to my fate. What had I agreed to? Was there still time to back out? Could I just turn around and go home? Those thoughts raced through my mind as we walked back and they chatted with me about what was going to happen. How could they be so calm? My heart felt like it was beating a mile a minute (which it wasn't). 

Time to get changed. Opening the robe to the back. Oh yeah, so the whole world could see my fanny in all its glory. As if I would really care about that in a little while. But right now, I did care. Who wants to show off their backside to strangers, especially nurses in the OR prep area. Oh well, they have seen it all, really nice one and really ugly ones. Where did mine fall in the line of that? Who cares? But the silly things you think about. Modesty is the last thing that you have in the hospital so you hang onto it as long as you can. Soon, it won't matter. 

Need to hook up the heart monitor, the BP cuff and the oxygen thing on your finger. All looks good. BP was a little high. Really? I wonder why? They are going to be sawing and drilling on my leg. Ugh. Why did I do this again? Time for the IV. The student gets the joy of putting the IV in my hand. Watch out! This could be a problem. I remember in 1991 as they were preparing me to reconstruct my ankle, the student nurse couldn't get the IV in. Oh my goodness, I felt like I was going to pass out after the 3rd try. The doctor actually had enough and did it himself. But this little gal was slick as could be. She did a good job on the 1st try. Well done. Mica I think her name was. Things are a little foggy for me as I try to remember. Then comes a whole bunch of medicine. This pill for that, that pill for this. This shot in the IV will dry your mouth out, and it did. Only a little medicine cup of water to take the pills. Penny would be able to without a problem, me? I used the whole cup, wishing I had more. 

Then they shaved my leg. Shaved my toes even. My toes! Why did they shave my toes? I asked. So that it is all even on the leg. OK, makes sense I guess. Stand up to shave the back of the leg. Hold the robe together to keep my modesty. After all, they are nurses and have never been flashed before. Well, I didn't want to be the first one. 

Then laying back down and waiting. Soon. A steady progression of people - Jason guy who puts you out, the OR nurses and then the man himself! Dr. Boese. He came in, talked a few minutes, autographed my leg and said he would see me in the OR shortly. I had his autograph! WooHoo! What would I do with it? Nothing, cause it would wash off. Oh well, short lived joy.

Time to go. A quick kiss to Penny via text, and I was off. Boy was there a lot of things lined up on the table getting ready for this surgery. Slide over onto the other table. Sit up, it will be cold, and then, lights out......

Just wandering through the morning

Cool, crisp air. The wind is beginning to pick up. The sky is clear. The bright moon shines overhead, having just passed being full a couple days ago. Listening to the rustling leaves as the wind blows through the trees. The sky is just beginning to brighten on the eastern horizon as the sun begins to rise. Yes, it is a typical fall morning. I give thanks to God for this day.

What a weekend it was. Why? Not because anything strange went on in our lives, but because the President went to the hospital, having contracted Covid. Prayers for him and the first lady. I don't wish covid on anyone. Listening to the news over the weekend, it was amazing to hear all the different points of view on what is going on in his life. Everyone seemed to know what was taking place, even though it was all over the place. There are those who were supportive and those who were not. There were those who were praying for him and those who refused. Like I say, all over the board. 

Me, I lifted them up in prayer, asking the Lord to bring them healing. In the same way I lift up everyone who is ill, whether it is with covid or with any other illness. It doesn't matter who they are - I lift them up in prayer. It doesn't matter if I agree with someone's political stance or not, I pray for them. I pray for folks, asking the Lord to bring health and healing to them. I would hope that this would be the way that all folks act. 

I look forward to the colors of the trees, as they have begun to change. As Penny and I drove around yesterday, we saw more yellows, a little bit of reds and mostly the dusty greens of trees that are preparing to change. Over the next couple of weeks, there will be some great colors. We love to see the colors. Makes fall a special time of the year. Actually, fall is probably my favorite season of the year. Yes, I like summer with the hot, sunny, humid weather. I rejoice in spring with the new life coming out and the hints of warmth in the air. I do like winter with the cold, snow and gray days (though I don't like the cold as much as I did when I was younger, just ask Penny how much I complain about the cold). But fall, what a wonderful time of the year. 

Going to be a a good week, a challenging week, a week of changes and a week of struggles. I pray that the Lord will be with you as you go through this week. Celebrate the wonder of what this week will bring to you. I do know that the Lord will be with you in whatever takes place. Yes, thank You Lord for being with each of us and watching over all of us. 

Have a great day! And an even better week!