Rather than bore you with how the recovery continued to go, I have some thoughts to share. I did miss going to worship Sunday morning. Penny got up. Helped me get cleaned up and ready for the day, which wasn't going to have much go on anyway. I went out onto the porch with the dogs while Penny went to church. I sat on the porch, listened to a couple different devotions, reflected on the beauty of God's creation, listened to the wind blow through the trees, watching the people go by. I was amazed to see some of St. John members drive by. Reminded me that not everyone is going to worship yet. But I wondered why were they out and about on Sunday morning if they didn't feel safe going to worship? That is always the question that I have. I leave that in their lives. It is not for me to judge. I do know that I missed being at worship that morning. I missed the fellowship. I missed the Word. I missed the whole worship experience. I do know that I was preaching that morning. What? How as that possible? I had prepared the sermon earlier in the week, and had gotten together with Casey and he recorded the sermon. Actually, he recorded it twice, for the first time the sound didn't come through. I guess that gave me a chance to run through the sermon once before it was fully recorded. So I did attend worship in spirit and via the magic of electronic medium.
After service, had a family stop and visit. It was good to see someone from church. One of the things that I would say is that I didn't have very many visitors. I think folks thought one of two things: 1) I needed the time to recover and 2) they thought I would have plenty of company and they didn't want to bother me. To be honest, I would have loved company. As Penny went to work on Monday, I was left home alone. I know that my thoughts were kind of cloudy because of the medication. It took all week for my mind to become clear. I didn't do much work. Why? I couldn't think clearly. But I would have gladly welcomed visitors. Might have even helped to clear the mind. I napped. I sat. I got up and walked. I stretched my leg. I bent my leg. I moaned and groaned. I went to PT. I learned more about what to do to make the leg work. Each time at PT, it was a greater challenge because they pushed me harder and further. I am happy to do that because I keep my eyes on the end results, being able to walk without pain or problems. That is the goal. That is why I had the knee replaced to begin with.
The one thing I thought I was ready for was the pain. It was very painful when the pain meds from the surgery wore off. There had been the spinal, the general and the local. As each of those wore off, the pain began to grow. On a scale of 1-10, what would be the pain. A 2. A 4. An 8. It just depended. But I could tell when the pain meds would wear off. The level would rise. Even now, I can tell that. It is knee replacement day plus 14 days (2 weeks) and I know when the pain meds wear off. Mornings are probably the worse. The leg gets stiff. The meds wear off. And I don't take them right away when I get up. So it throbs.
I thought I was ready for the pain. But I wasn't. I think about that regularly. I think about how much it does hurt. Then I think of what they did. And it makes perfect sense why it hurts. I don't like taking all the pain meds. There is always that fear that you are going to become dependent on them. I sure don't want that to happen. Nor do I think that it will but you always have that in the back of your mind.
I did finally start to get out at the end of the 1st week. I went to PT. The first time I think I sat in the van while Penny ran into the store. Didn't feel like walking around inside. The next time she went to the store, I went in with her. I didn't use the walker. Call it vanity. Call it what you want but I didn't want to walk through the store with a walker, So what did I do? I got a cart and used that to walk with. No speed walking through the store. Had a perscription to pick up. Wasn't too bad. Tired me out. What do you expect? Did it again a few days later and it wasn't so bad. Still used the cart for my support.
Last weekend was pretty good. Went to the Touch of Love Breakfast at St. John. Nice to actually sit and visit with the folks. Was a fun morning. Rested that afternoon. Actually I think it was right after we got home. Then worship on Sunday morning. Once again, a blessing. Word and Sacrament given and fellowship of the body. How nice it was! I had only been out for one weekend, and 2 weeks, but I felt so disconnected from what was going on. It helped seeing people, talking with them, seeing their smiles and hearing their words of encouragement. Sunday evening was a Fall Family Festival at Henkeville. That was fun. Lots of people. Plenty of hot dogs, chili and other things. Didn't stay the whole time. A little is as good as a feast, someone famous once said.
So at I sit here on Wednesday, exactly 2 weeks after surgery, I see the improvements that I have made. The leg is stronger. The pain not quiet so severe. I look back, remember what I have gone through and think to myself, "I wasn't ready for that." It is for sure that I thought I had it figured out but it sure rouded the corner and knocked me over. Will I have the other one done? Yes. It needs fixed and if I have to face a few weeks of pain and inconvienence, it is worth it. Thinking about it, I am still amazed. I am walking on a let that 2 weeks ago was taken apart, cleaned and had new parts put into it, all the while not cutting or destroying the muscles or tendons. The Lord has truly blessed us with some really briliant minds that have come up with the procedures and the hardware for it, and those with the ability to accomplish the task. Thanks, Lord! It is amazing.
The journey continues. Challengings? Yes. Will I give up? Nope. The ultimate outcome outweighs the few weeks of problems. So here I go, facing more PT, and the rest of what this journy means for me.
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