The year is ending, a new one is beginnning.

 Here we are on the cusp of the new year. I think back on how much hope there was when 2020 started. That all came grinding to a halt back in March. Who would have thought that 2020 would have gone the way that it did? I sure didn't. When the shut down happened, it was to flatten the curve, which became something much more. Is this virus real? Oh yes. There is no doubt that the virus is real. Have people died from this virus? Yes they have. Have hospitals been full of people with the virus? Yes indeed. At the same time, have many, many people gotten the virus and survived? Yes. Do people who have had the virus gotten over it without hospitalization and medication? Yes. My point? The coronavirus is real and is survivable. I know that each person will be able to respond with, "I know..." and then tell of somoene who died, someone who was really sick, someone who really had a hard time with the virus. I am not saying anything against that. My heart goes out to those who lost loved ones because of the virus. I pray that the Lord will give to them healing in their lives and strength in their loss. 

At the same time, I have had numerous funerals this year, none of which were from the virus. I pray that will continue into 2021. Did St. John have members with the virus? Yes. And they recovered. Most of them recovered at home. Quarantine was the new way of life. Get sick, then isolate, that is how things have gone. I am sure that will be going on in 2021. I sure that we will continue to struggle with the virus throughout this new year. But then again, when it is gone, we will struggle with something else. I don't like to say it, but cancer is still a terrible disease through which many people struggle, get sick and finally die. It is so terrible. People hurt. People struggle. People go through each day with treatments, sickness, more treatments and a whole host of other things. 

I know, that sounds pretty grim. We don't like grim. Instead, we like things to sound rosy and happy. Show us puppy dogs, kitty cats and roses, all surrounded by beautiful sunsets. That is how we like to live. And to be honest, I like that too. I so enjoy taking picture of sunsets (and sunrises), eagles and other animals, trains and whatever catches my eye. I took many pictures throughout 2020, even with the limitations that were in place. With so many things shut down, we had to find different ways to go places and do things. I was amazed this last summer, when we went to the upper pennisula of Michigan, how many people were still traveling, but they were doing more outdoors things rather than indoors. Fresh air, open spaces and the wonder of nature was a big part of many people's lives. We were part of those who were doing that very thing. We just avoided hotels. We have stayed at a hotel only once since March. 

It was a good year in many ways. I had both eyes fixed, cataracts removed and lenses put in place. New glasses. I can see amazingly well. Still surprises me that I can take my glasses off and still see. I need them to read. That is so different. I also have a new knee. That also is amazing. I see the scar from the surgery and then walk without the pain. It is amazing how different it is to not have the knee pain. I give thanks to God for medical field who have done this amazing thing of putting a new knee in my body. Wow! Thanks Lord!

I pray that you will have a great 2021. The Lord will be with us no matter what takes place. There will be good times and bad times. There will be positive things and negative things. And in all, we will have the Lord Jesus Christ with us in all that we do. Look at 2021, and rejoice! Give thanks to God for the new year. And let's move forward.

New Snow, Old Year, rambling

 On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a snowstorm. Well, I guess it is a snowstorm. We received 5-4 inches of snow, freezing rain but very little wind. It isn't extremely cold out, in the mid 20s, which isn't all that bad without any wind. Penny and I enjoy snow. It was a beautiful thing to behold. I must say that I appreciate all those city workers and street workers who have been working non-stop today keeping the road open. They are amazing people. We often like to complain about city workers, but on days like this, we give thanks for them. They are a good group of people. If you haven't said so lately, take time to let them know that you appreciate them.

Watching it snow this morning we did have to get out. I had joint camp this morning. Went to get ready for the next knee replacement which will be January 14, 2021. Looking forward to it. Will be good to have that knee working right.

It is ravioli day. That means that Penny and I spent the afternoon making them. Penny makes the dough, gets it ready, then we both add the filling. Then they are put together, pressed and laid out to dry. We made 17 dozen today, meaning we made 204 ravioli. 

All those ravioli are now in the freezer. When they are good and frozen, we will take them from the trays, put them in bags and enjoy them throughout the year. Penny's folks used to do this after Christmas. We have taken over for them. It is our tradition to make them. We usually make them the day after Christmas but not this year. Why? We couldn't find the ricotta cheese. We looked at both stores here in Clarinda. Went to Shenadoah, looked in a couple stores. On Sunday we went to Maryville. MO and looked down there. Everyone was sold out. Really? Ricotta cheese, sold out. What was there? A covid run on cheese now? That was just weird. We finally found some in Bellevue, NE. Talk about craziness. Anyway, with the snow today, it was a great time to make them. Penny then made homemade baked manicotti for supper. Yum! Talk about a good day.

The fifth day of Christmas, 5 golden rings. The five books of Moses, the Pentateuch. Yes, these books are precious gifts given by our Lord to us. Thank the Lord for these wonderful books. We thank Him for the 4 calling birds - the 4 gospels, calling us to see Christ as our Savior. Three French hens, faith, hope and love, calling us to live in our lives as children of God. Two turtle doves...

Sitting in front of the fire, I find peace. Peace in knowing that God sent His only-begotten Son to be my Savior. That He has given me a loving wife whom I care for deeply. I would do anything for her. Next to my faith in my Savior, she is the best gift I have received. 

The year is coming to a close. I look forward to proclaiming the Gospel again as we bring the year to a close and then again in the new year. I hope you will make time for the Word of God in your life throughout this new year. God bless you.

Merry Christmas Eve's Eve

 Merry Christmas! Well, actually it is Merry Christmas Eve's Eve. Today is two days before Christmas. This week has been rather nice, sunny, some wind and warm. We were in the 50s yesterday. Actually, when I got up this morning, it was 54 degrees. December 23rd and it was 54 degrees at 6 a.m. The wind is blowing and we are told that the temps are going to dropping all day. Won't be a white Christmas for us here in Clarinda, IA. I know that north of here there is a good chance of a white Christmas. 

Christmas time, is here. What does that mean for you? I know what it means for me. First and foremost it means that God the Father sent His Son to become a man. This is know as the incarnation - God becoming man. God becomes man. He comes to us. He did not expect us to come to Him. He knew we could not come to Him. Our sinfulness makes it impossible for us to go to Him. As much as we try, we cannot live the life that the Law demands. So He promised Adam and Eve that He would send a Savior. He gave that same promise to Abraham who passed it on to Isaac and then Jacob. The line of the Savior can be traced all the way down to both Mary and Joseph. The Son of God, becoming human, for us and for our salvation. What a glorious event we celebrate on Christmas Day. God became man in order to save mankind, to save you and me. Thank You God! I can see why the angels sang, why the shepherds hurried off to find the child and why the magi traveled hundreds and hundreds of miles to find the one born King of the Jews. 

It also means the opportunity to worship the Lord. Christmas time, is here! Hark! the Herald Angels Sing! Joy to the World! O Little Town of Bethlehem! Those hymns are glorious to sing. Don't you enjoy singing them? I sure do. I know that all of you will not be able to join us in worship. The health situation makes it difficult for some to come worship. Some will need to stay home for their safety. I pray for you. I ask that your heart will be filled with joy even if you are not able to go to worship. For those of you who will be able to make worship, sing out. Praise the Lord! Join in singing those wonderful songs.

Silent Night, Holy Night, all is calm, all is bright...that is perhaps the one song that really encompasses Christmas. I enjoy standing with a lit candle, singing a verse in German and then singing the whole thing in English. For those of you who are from other nationalities, sing Silent Night in your language. Enjoy it. 

We wish you a merry Christmas. Penny and I wish you a very blessed and merry Christmas and a happy New Year. May the Lord bless you as you celebrate the birth of your Savior.

A follow up on snow. Thoughts on cold.

 Yesterday I wrote on that controversial issue - snow. I have been amazed that there has been no push back against it. (I am being tongue in cheek.) Today, I am going to talk about the cold. Yes, the cold weather. As much as I like snow, I don't like the cold. As Penny says each year, "You complain more about the cold than you ever have." And yes, it is worse each year. 

I didn't use to dislike the cold. When I was younger, the cold didn't really bother me. Like most kids, I would go outside and play all winter long. My brothers and I would get together with other kids of the neighborhood and play in the cold. When there was snow, we would spend hours playing, building forts and igloos (we piled snow up and dug out the inside to make the igloo or a tunnel), and snowball fights. We would go sledding all afternoon. When we came in, we were soaked to the bone, cold as could be and really didn't pay attention to it. I can remember that we tried to keep our feet dry by putting our stocking feet in plastic bags (often bread bags), and then sliding them into our boots. That would make it possible to stay out longer.

But all that has changed. I was all right for a while. I would wear short sleeve shirts and sweater vests, and would be all right. It wasn't an issue. I was warm. Then, little by little, the cold started to feel colder. What used to be fine, began to feel colder. How could 40s begin to feel like the 30s? How could the 30s begin to feel like the 20s? And what about that wind chill? When did that start? I find myself saying, "It wouldn't be so bad out if it wasn't for the wind." I don't remember the wind chill being an issue years ago. But it is now. The wind. Brrrrr! I don't like it.

What changed? I did. I grew older. I don't like to admit that. And for those who have been around the sun a few more years than me, probably look at me and think, "You aren't that old." But those of you who are in your 20s or 30s look at me and say, "Well, yes, you do have a few years on yourself now." The more trips around the sun, and the colder winter feels. 

If I could have snow in the 40s, I would be happy. I would be happier if you could have snow in the 50s. But that isn't possible. Hasn't happened and won't happen. So I guess I must learn this lesson, if you want one thing, you have to take that which goes along with it. If I like snow, I have to accept the cold that comes with it.

Makes me think about our prayer life. When we pray for something, we have to accept that which comes with the answer. If I pray that my knees would quit hurting, I have to accept that I might have to go through a difficult time when they get replaced. If I pray that the Lord would send rain to water the earth, which we need because of how dry it is, then I also have to accept the gray days and the muddy conditions. If I pray that the Lord would help me lose weight, I need to accept that I need to eat less and exercise more. Oten we expect God to do something for us, and then get upset with Him when getting to that point we must become involved in our lives. 

Pray for that which is in your heart. But accept that which comes with what you are praying for - that God can do miracles in your life, and that sometimes those miracles lead you to changes in your life. That is a challenge. I often think, "Do this for me God." And He responds, "Here is how you will get what you are asking for, you need to do this." I need to accept that. And that is quite the challenge for me in my life.

Cold? No I don't like it. Snow? I want it. So I need to accept the cold to get the snow. Lord, teach me.

All about snow

 I am going to say something controversial today. It may cause a terrible backlash and all sorts of negative comments. But I don't care. It has to be said. 

I like snow. That's right, I like snow. It snowed last Friday night and Saturday early morning. When I got up Saturday, I rejoiced. I like seeing all the white on the ground. It has stayed around to today, Tuesday, and there may be one more day before it starts to melt off. And I love it. 

No, I don't like the cold. That is the down side of snow, it comes when it is cold. And the only way that you can keep snow around is when it is cold. The last couple nights have been down in the teens. Yesterday morning when I got up it was 10 degrees. Brrrr. That is cold. So I had to bundle up, put on my winter coat, gloves and scarf. I used the seat warmer in the van. I had my heater going in my office at church because my feet get cold under the desk. 

But I still like snow. I sat in my office looking out at the blue sky, the trees covered in snow and I felt really good. It was beautiful. So, yes, I like snow. I prefer snow to a cold rain in the 30s or 40s. That just chills you to the bone, makes everything nast and isn't worth being out in at all. I really don't like it when instead of rain, it turns to ice. Ice is impossible to do anything with - you can't walk on it safely, driving on it is terrible and it often brings down tree limbs and power lines. Ice is terrible. 

Snow is better. Get several inches of the white stuff and it looks pretty. Get a foot of snow, and it is amazing. I love it when there is bunches of snow. Is it hard to get around in the snow? Sure. If you don't have to get out, there is no reason to get out. And for those who have to get out, snow is still much easier than ice. And it is wintertime. We are supposed to get snow. I remember one January when we lived in Illinois, we were getting a bunch of snow, and we had to get Penny's mom from the train station. The roads were snow covered but we were doing well getting to where we were going, till I follow the brown, which wasn't road but grass. Ugh, stuck in the ditch at the side of the interstate. Now what? Brandon and I got out to push the van out. Rachael was behind the wheel. Penny was praying. Push a van out of snow filled ditch? A 55 year old man and a 28 year old man. Really? Not happening. But we tried. I still say it was 1 1/2 men doing it. Brandon was the one and I was the half. We pushed. Nothing. We pulled. Nothing. We tried and tried. Nothing. Wasn't going to come out of that ditch. We tried one more time and the next thing we know it was on the road. What happened? If you ask me, I believe that there was another one there, an angel of the Lord helped us. That is the only way that it could have happened. We picked up Penny's mom at the train station, pulled out. We went to pull onto the road, to get through the snow on the ramp, got stuck again. Grrr. We got out to push out and 3 other guys stopped to help. It took 4 guys (I drove, so it wasn't 3 1/2 but 4) to push us out and we were just stuck in the snow on the ramp. 4 guys pushing and it took a lot to get pushed out - compared to 1 1/2 guys to push out of  a ditch. Hmmm. Now you begin to see why I think that we had a angel help us. 

Even with all that, I still like snow. You might think I am crazy. You might disagree. You might not like snow. And that is all right. I still do. And no matter what you say to me, won't change my mind. 

Advent and Christmas thoughts.

 We wish you a merry Christmas! All right, I know that it isn't Christmas yet, but I do like singing Christmas songs. Joy to the world. Silent Night. The Twelve Days of Christmas. Deck the Halls. It doesn't matter to me. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing. I always wondered how they knew that the angel's name was Harold, but it must have been so since we sing it each year. (Go ahead and groan, that was a bad pastor joke.) Singing is a part of Christmas. 

It is part of the Advent season as well. There are many great Advent songs. Hark the Glad Sound, the Savior Comes. On Jordan's Bank the Baptist's Cry. Lift Up Your Heads, Ye Mighty Gates. That one is one of my favorites. Why? I can remember learning it while at the Lutheran School Association in Decatur, IL. I was in 5th grade or perhaps 6th grade (memory fails me) and we learned that song to sing it in chapel at school. I can remember going into St. Paul's Lutheran Church, there at LSA, and practicing that song. It was a memory that I carry. Singing that song in that huge church, it reverberated throughout the building. When I sing that song today, I still think about how that sounded in that church. Lift Up Your Heads Ye Mighty Gates. The King of Glory is coming! Hurrah! Advent songs are great. O Come, O Come, Emmanuel. That is also a song I like to sing. I stand in the sanctuary at St. John Lutheran Church here in Clarinda, IA and sing that hymn. It sounds so good in that building. 

Advent and Christmas. What a wonderful season. I love the Christmas gospel. I love the prophecies that point us to that Christmas gospel. It amazes me when I see how the Lord had this all worked out. He spoke through the prophets, telling of what is going to happen when the Savior is born. The place - Bethlehem. Who - a virgin. When - at the just right time. So much. Pay attention to God's Word and you will see what God has said througout the centuries. 

Have you seen this Christmas star thing? Where Saturn and Jupiter will show up in the night sky, close together, something that happens every 800 years or so? People are saying it is the Christmas star. I disagree. The Christmas star happened once - at the time that Jesus was born. It is a star that God placed in the sky to guide the wisemen to Bethlehem to find the King of kings. Was it a couple stars or planets that came together inthe night sky? Nope. It was a star that God Himself used at that time for that special purpsoe. Why do I make this point? Because to say anything else, is to nullify or dismiss the miracle of God there at Jesus' birth. Having Saturn and Jupiter come together is really awesome to see, a neat night time event. I encourage you to make sure that you get out and see it. But remember, it isn't the Christmas star. The Christmas star was a special gift from God at the birth of His Son in Bethlehem.

John the Baptist, what an amazing man. Proclaiming the message that the Kingdom of God was at hand. He spoke God's Word, calling people to repentance. Yes, we need that message. Repent for the Kingdom of God is at hand. Christ is coming again. We don't know when He will come. But it is going to happen. Knowing that, we should be proclaiming the message of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. People need to hear that there is a Savior, One in whom they must believe in order to be saved. Each one of us needs to be the John the Baptist in our communties, proclaiming this message. No, I don't want to eat locust, though wild honey isn't all bad. Nor do I want to live in the wilderness or wear camel's hair clothes. But the message is the same. 

On Jordan's Bank the Baptist's Cry...on the bank of your community, be the voice of one calling people to hear the message of the Gospel. 

Following the Lord's will

 "Your will be done. Amen. " How many times have you ended your prayers with those words? How many times have you talked with God about the situation of your life and said that you were going to abide by His will, whatever that will might be? I know that I have prayed that over and over again. I pray that every weekend in worship. I pray that with people who are struggling in their lives. I pray that for people who are ill or facing surgery or treatments. I pray that in my own life. 

Do you? Have you? When you pray that, how do you accept God's will? That is always the question. How do I accept God's will in my life? If I am praying for something, and it doesn't happen, how do I respond? I think about that because today I sit here waiting to hear from the doctor's office. For what? I find out today if I am going to have my left knee replaced on Thursday or not. I really would like to get this behind me. I really want it to happen because we have met all my out-of-pocket expenses for my insurance company. There won't be a further financial strain on the family if it happens on Thursday. If it doesn't, that means that we will need to meet all those financial obligations once again, and with the increase of the new year. And I say, "Lord, You wouldn't want to put that upon the family, would You? So Your will be done, but I think I know what that will should be." Oops, that is not really trusting in the will of the Lord, is it? It is me telling the Lord the way it should be, and then placing that "Your will be done" on the end of it.

Here is where it gets difficult. If I get the call that surgery will not happen, I will be challenged. I will probably be depressed. The challenge to my faith will be to accept God's will and move forward and live life as He would have me live. I go forward thanking the Lord for showing His will to me and learning to live according to it. 

Isn't that what happens each day? We pray for someone, and they continue to have the cancer, heart disease, or whatever. We pray for someone, and they still die. We pray for the virus to be gone, and it isn't. We pray that our nation would get along, and it doesn't. And we say, "God, I prayed for Your will to be done and it wasn't." No, what we wanted wasn't done. God's will might well have been done. But we don't want to accept it.That and our sinfulness gets involved. Why don't people get along when I pray for it? Because they don't want to. They refuse to even try to get along. Sin gets involved. And people refuse to even listen to the Lord. There is a differenc here. It would be like me refusing to listen to the doctor's office, going to the hospital on Thursday and expecting them to do the surgery on my knee even though I am not scheduled. Then throwing a fit about it, getting upset and yelling at them, "But God wants me to have the surgery today!" I would be misuing the name of the Lord. I would be trying to force them to do something even when it is very obvious that it wasn't the will of the Lord for me to have surgery on that day. I make my will become God's will and then try to force it. It doesn't work that way.

God is the potter and I am the clay. I am not the potter and God is the not the clay. I cannot mold God into what I want. Instead, He molds me into His will. That is difficult. That is what it means to trust in the will of the Lord, to live in faith. Today, I pray that I may listen to the Lord as I go through the day. I ask that the Spirit would help me to live according to that will. And then, I pray that I will face each day with a certainty that God is with me and leading me. 

Lord, Your will be done. Amen. 

One Week Later

 It has been one week since Thanksgivng Day. Can you believe it has been a week already? With all that has been going on in the world today, it seems that time should be dragging by, but it isn't. Time marches on. One day rolls into the next and then the next and before you know it, it has been a week. Then it will be a month. And then finally a new year. After all, this is the month of December. I felt like time had been dragging along ever since March. But then I turned around and here it is December. This is the first week in Advent. It focuses us upon hope - hope that is given in Jesus Christ. We look forward to His coming - as the Christ child, into our lives with Word and Sacrament, and on the Last Day. Hope does not disappoint us. We live in hope, a sure and certain hope that is shown us in the life, death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. Living in that hope, we are lifted up, especially in this difficult and tumultuous time. 

So let me ask you, are you still as thankful as you were last week? Have you continued giving thanks to the Lord each and every day? So often, we take one day, give thanks of that day, and then go back to our normal lives, forgetting to count the many blessings that we are given each day. Life gets busy. We go back to work, school, our mundane lives and we spend time thanking the Lord. On Thanksgiving day, the gospel reading is from Luke, the account of the healing of the 10 lepers. All were healed, one returned to Jesus to give thanks. We focus on that one. I often wonder about the other 9. What was going on in their minds? As they went along, did they think about giving thanks? Did they think, perhaps we should go back to Jesus and give Him thanks? Or did they think, I will get around to it after I go to the priests, after I spend the prescribed time in isolation, offering the sacrifices and then returning to their homes? When Jesus passed through their town at a later day, did each one of them go out to greet Him and offer Him their thanks? Did they tell their family about Jesus as their Master and Lord? I truly hope so. We will never know until we get to heaven. I look forward to seeing them there in heaven, to hear their story that they were healed by Jesus when they were lepers. I look forward to hugging them (no covid!) and lifting up my voice in songs of praise at that moment.

But do I do the same thing today? I hope so. I think about the love that the Lord gives to me each day, and I give thanks. I think about my family, and I give thanks to the Lord. I think about the church I am serving, and I give thanks. I think about the churches I have served, and I give thanks. I think about the lives I have touched hrough the various ministries, prison ministry, LWML zone, district and national, through the youth ministry and youth gatherings, and I give thanks. I thank the Lord for all that He has done for me and through me. I thank the Lord, not just on Thanksgiving Day, but every day, for the life that I have been given. This life, with all the ups and downs, the goods and bads, is a blessing to me. I have learned much through the trials and tribulations. I have received more forgiveness from the Lord, from Penny, from my family, from my friends, than I deserve.

I rejoice. I thank God. I want to hug each one, despite covid, I still want to hug each one of you. Why? Because that is one way that I am able to show the love that Christ has placed in my heart. It is one way that I am able to say, "Thank you for being a part of my life, and for letting me be a part of your life. I thank God for you."

Each day, giving thanks. One week later. Still giving thanks. I hope that I am still giving thanks one month later, and then another month. I want to still be giving thanks when Thanksgiving 2021 shows up. For in a year's time, I will not have given thanks enough for all that the Lord has done for me in my life.

One week later, are you still giving thanks?

Thanksgiving Eve thoughts

 Oh give thanks unto the Lord, for He is good, His steadfast love endures forever. (Psalm 107:1 ESV) That is where we are at right now. It is Thanksgiving Eve, meaning that tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. (I know, that is something that goes without saying, though I had to say it.) We are giving thanks for the many blessings that the Lord gives to us each day. He watches over us and cares for us each and every day, often in ways that we don't even recognize. That is the joy of the steadfast love of the Lord, it comes without our merit or worthiness, without our seeing it and without our asking. Yes, we do see His love at times, but mostly, it comes to us as we live out our lives, without knowing that He is working in our lives.

Do you give thanks? I mean, really give thanks? Paul writes, Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus. (1 Thess. 5:18 ESV) Does that means that I am to give thanks even those situations that I don't really like? Today it is raining. I thank God for the rain because it has been really dry. But then again, why did God have to allow the rain today, when people are travelling? And why is it raining right now, the day in which we will have a total of 5 dogs in the yard, meaning that there will be more of a mess to clean up? Am I thankful for the mud? And the mess? While I might be grumbling about it, I am working at being thankful for the mud. Thank You God for the rain and the mud. I can't have one without the other. Help me to be thankful, dear Lord.

This is a challenging time for us. There is such a difference in opinions as things are moving forward. To shut down or not to shut down. To keep the restaraunt open or to close it down. To let families get together or to turn them in to the police because they are getting together. What are you going to do? Can we give thanks in this time? 

Yes, we can. We still have much to give thanks for. How can I give thanks for the person who has covid? I give thanks that they are not alone but that the Lord is still with them, giving them care at home or in the hospitals. I give thanks for the health care staff. I give thanks for the medicine. I give thanks to the Lord even in this difficult time. The fact is, the Lord is still with us. When covid has passed us by, due to the vaccine and the fact that it runs its course, there will be another illness that we will face. There will still be cancer, heart disease, diabetes, depression, anxiety, fear, and a whole host of other things that people face each day. It seems to be that because of covid, we have forgotten this fact. The Lord is with us in health and in illness, in good times and bad times, when we are happy and when we are sad. Always. In all things, the Lord says, I am with you always. And again, I will never leave you or forsake you. These promises are sure and certain. You can hold fast to the Lord in faith in all that you are facing.

Giving thanks. I thank God for a new knee. I had to continue to thank Him for that knee even when it was painful and didn't seem to be going as quickly as I would have liked. I thank God for the doctors and nurses, for the physical therapists and for all those who encouraged and prayed for me. I had so much to give thanks for with the replacement. I still have much to give thanks for in my life. I thank God that my heart spasms have ceased. I was having coronary artery heart spasms (the small vessels on the outside of my heart would spasm closed) throughout the day. I was taking nitro several times a day (thank You Lord for that nitro because it really helped and continued to help me continue to live my daily life).  I had much to give thanks for as it was going on. And now that I haven't had any spasms here in 2020 (what a strange thing, in this crazy year, the heart spasms stopped). I give thanks to the Lord as He helped me through the issues for over 8 years, and I give thanks that it has now stopped. So much to give thanks for at this time.

I give thanks for being allowed to continue to serve the Church as a pastor in God's church. I rejoice that I have the opportunity to preach and teach the Word. I rejoice that I can bring God's peace and strength to people who are struggling. I rejoice that I have served an ordained minister since 1987. I think about what God has done through the ministry that He gave me. I thank Him that I am able to be this under-shepherd of the Good Shepherd. I give thanks because I am given this chance to serve the people of St. John Lutheran Church, Clarinda, IA. It thank God that I was allowed to serve people in each of the congregations of which I have been their pastor. I thank God for serving the Lord through the LWML in the congregation, zones, districts and national. I would never have thought I would be serving Him as I have been through these years. I thank the Lord for being able to bring the gospel to so many people in so many places. 

Thank You Lord! Thank You for all that You have done and continue to do for me and through me. I give thanks with a grateful heart. Now, I look foward to the rest of today and these next couple days. I will be able to lead worship tomorrow. And celebrate with my family. Wow! What a wonderful life I have been blessed with. Thanks God.

Give thanks, with a grateful heart!

 I give thanks for turkey. Yes, for turkey. I really like turkey. I like it on Thanskgiving Day. I like turkey and cheese sandwiches with mustard and mayo. I like turkey leftovers. Penny makes some great turkey dishes. Turkey is really a wonderful bird to cook and eat. Yes, there are other good birds - chicken, pheasant, goose, duck, quail and the like. I like them as well. 

But at this time of the year, there is nothing like a good turkey. The smell of it cooking. The beauty of a nicely cooked turkey. The taste, the texture, oh my! Isn't it wonderful? You might not agree with me. But I give thanks for turkey.

I give thanks for many things. I give thanks for the opportunity to worship the Lord. I give thanks that I can go into the house of God, lift up my voice in praise, song and prayer, and receive the body and blood of Jesus Christ in the Lord's Supper. I rejoice that I can join together with other believers in Jesus Christ. I give thanks that I can share the love of Christ with other people. I thank the Lord that I live in a country where worship is allowed. I thank and praise God for the opportunity that I have to gather with family and celebrate the wonder of the season. 

I thank the Lord for friends. I have had many friends throughout the years. I think back to being at the Lutheran School Association in Decatur, IL and having a good friend named Garland Laskowski. We went to movies together. I don't know what happened to Garland as we went to different high schools and drifted apart. But as a kid, he was a good friend. Then I remember Gary Younger, Gary Matthews, Tom Hills, Bobby , John, and a whole host of other guys that I had as friends in high school. Yes, we moved on with our lives and went different directions. But growing up, it was a lot of fun. There were neighbor kids like Ron Tapscott, Gary and Larry, Ralph and Karl. Lots of good times, lots of fun. The Lord blessed me as I was growing up to have friends to hang out with. Thanks Lord! What a great time to grow up. We spent hours outdoors, doing all sorts of things. Fishing, golfing, playing war in the hills in Nelson Park, riding bikes, playing ball in the street (having to stop whenever a car came), trying to keep the ball from rolling down into the sewer drain (and lots were lost in that drain). Yes, I can think back and give thanks for growing up.

I had a good church to grow up in. Trinity Lutheran in Decatur, IL was just down the road from us. We would walk to Sunday School and church, then when we were older, drove. Mom made sure we were there week after week. I enjoyed going to SS, cause I was able to see my friends, the ones I went to school at LSA with, and learned about Jesus at the same time. I didn't realize how important that was untill I was older. But those years in SS were ones that really helped me to know who Jesus was and what He continues to do for me. I see that it is important for parents to get their kids to SS. So many don't. Why? Because they are lazy, they have other things that they prefer to do, or they just don't want to get going on Sunday morning, or whatever other reason. If you don't teach kids when they are young, you are robbing them of more than just childhood memores. You could well be robbing them of their eternal life. They might not continue in that faith in Jesus if they don't learn about Him as a child. 

I give thanks for the many teachers I have had through they years. Some have been really good. Some have not been so good. But they all did what they thought was best. I connected with some teachers and did not connect with others. That wasn't always their fault. There were times I didn't give them the opportunity to actually teach me. I think about Mr. Seidel in high school who helped me to grow to love photography. I think about Frau Weiss in high school who taught me German. I think about Mr. Ponivas, Miss Reeves, and others at LSA who helped me learn and grow. It amazes me to think of how many teachers helped me through the years. Thank You Lord for each one of these special people.

Giving thanks. So much to give thanks for in my life. I rejoice at these blessings and so much more. More thoughts, more thanksgiving, more times to look to the Lord in my life. I challenge you to reflect on the many blessings you have been given in life and give thanks to the Lord for them. 

Happy Thanksgiving.

Beginning Thanksgiving week

 Thanksgiving 2020 is going to be different for many people. There will be many people who will not be traveling to see family. There have been many places who have placed restrictions on how many people can gather together in their houses for Thanksgiving. That actually shocks me. I get that restrictions can be made in public places, but in private places? I never dreamed that I would see a time when we would be told how many people could be in your house. When I was growing up, there were movies that had such things in them, and they were about those who finally rebelled against those in control because they were tired of not having their personal rights. Now, here it is. We are living those very things. I would not have thought that it would happen. 

Even having said that, I still think about how much I have been blessed in my life. God has blessed and continues to bless me in this life. I think about those blessings and it overwhelms me. God is good and is good to me every day. Does this mean that everything goes my way every day? No it doesn't. It means taht God is with me each day. He watches over me. He cares for me. He is with me. And that, in itself, is more than I could ever ask for. 

I sit here and look out the window to the southeast, and watch the sun come up. 

I see the sky turning pink, and I thank the Lord. The clouds are high and pink. It is is cool and crisp outside, and it reminds me that the grace of God is new every morning. It is crisp in my life. Crisp in your life. I give thanks to Him for how He is watching over me each day.

I can go through a list of things that I am thankful for in my life. The first and foremost thing I am thankful for is the fact that the Lord loved me so much that He gave His life for me. He suffered and died upon the cross and then rose again on the 3rd day - all to bring to me that forgiveness, life and salvation. He has done that for you too. Give thanks for the salvation that He has given to you through Jesus Christ. He watches over you, in all times of your life.

What else am I thankful for? My family, my church family, my family of friends, and so much more. I could get a list going. I am thankful for my dogs, who bring smiles to my face and give me much joy (even as they can be frustrating when they want to go in and out, and in and out). How do you list all that you are thankful for?

Penny, Rachael, Matthew, Brandon and Chelsey, and Shirley. My brothers, even though I don't see them except on FB. My extended family, that I may or may not be able to see regularly. Those who are my friends from different congregations and different places that we have lived. I thank God for each one. I rejoice that the Lord has brought each of you into my life.

As I go through this week, I think I might continue to think about what to be thankful for in my life. I encourage you to do the same thing. Give thanks, with a grateful heart.

A week before Thanksgiving Day

 Only a week till Thanksgiving Day. As I watch on FB, there are folks that post what they are thankful for in their lives. I think that is a good thing. I will not say that it is wrong for them to do that. As I read those things they are thankful for, I am struck by the fact that many people are thankful for the faith and life that they have in their Lord Jesus Christ. I know that in my life, the first and foremost thing that I am thankful for is that the Son of God became a man in order to carry my sins, pay the price of the law, suffer and die for me and then rise on the third day. I rejoice that the Holy Spirit has brought me to believe in Jesus Christ through the waters of Baptism, strengthened through the power of the Word and through the Sacrament of Holy Communion. 

I do admit that I am not a perfect person. I continue to sin in my life, by thought, word and deed. I struggle with temptation each and every day. No, I am not going to sit here and tell you what I struggle with, even as you do not have to tell me what you struggle with in your life. I ask the Lord to forgive me each day for the sins that I have done, both those I know and those I do not know. I ask Him to help me through the power of the Holy Spirit to help me when I face those temptations so that through His power in me, I might be able to overcome those temptations and live the life that the Lord would have me live.

It is a really tough time in our natin now. Covid-19 is still out there. People are getting sick with the virus. At the same time, many more people are not getting sick. Most of those who have tested positive for the virus have been healed from the virus (through the power of God, through medical assistance and through the wonder of how the body heals). I pray for those who have contracted the virus. I pray for their healing. I pray for those who have not contracted the virus, praying that they don't. I pray for our community here in Clarinda, that people will be kept safe and given strength. 

Yes, it is a tough time, but it is one in which we have so much to be thankful for in our lives. I look at what the Lord has done for me in my life. Every time I take a step, I thank God for a new knee. I thank God for the doctors and nurses who replaced my knee and took care of me. I thank God for the therapists who are working with me 3 times a week. I thank God for the people who have continued to pray for me and my healing. I thank God for a very special person, Penny, who has cared for me in so many ways. She is truly a blessing for me and has helped me in more ways than I can name. The Lord is truly good to me, not only in this time but every day. I am so thankful for her and for my family. 

Ok, so what are you thankful for in your life? Don't just wait till Thanksgiving Day to give thanks for the many blessings in your life. Take time over the next days to think about those blessings, give thanks for them. And then, think of some way that you might be able to help someone out in their lives. How can you lift up someone who is struggling? Dropping a meal off at their door? Saying a prayer for someone? Sending a card (yes, an actually physical card!), making a phone call, being that person that encourages other people. 

Give thanks, with a grateful heart, give thanks! Yes, I do give thanks to the Lord God almighty. 

Friday the 13th

 It is Friday the 13th! You know what that means...don't you? Back in March, we had a Friday the 13th, and right after that, things fell apart in our nation and throughout the world. So maybe there is something to this idea that Friday the 13th is unlucky. The virus got going. Most of the nation was shut down. Churches were closed. It was like something out of the Twilight Zone. Then it only got worse. Over the last 8 months, it has been crazy. Who would have thought that things would have gone like they have.

So now we are facing another Friday the 13th. Should we be afraid? Should we hide from this day and wonder how bad it will get? Short answer? No. There is no difference between a Friday the 13th and a Friday the 14th. There is no difference between Monday the 13th and Tuesday the 20th. Each day is just another day. 

And on each day, the Lord is still in control. Happenstance, luck, bad luck, or whatever do not control our destiny. They do not control the future. The Lord holds each day in His hand. He is there when things go well and He is there when things go bad. He is there in good times and in bad times. 

But pastor, why do bad things happen if God is in control? Because we live in a fallen world, with fallen people and fallen nature. People do not do what is right. They chose to do wrong. They chose to hurt others. They chose to do things according to their own sinful desires. And because of that, terrible things happen in this world. The person decides to drink too much, get behind the wheel and kills a family that were heading home. Terrible. Yet, we know the Lord was there as well. Oh, how difficult that is in our thinking. If God is there, why did He allow that to happen? Why did He not stop it? I cannot answer that question. But I know that He promises that He is with us each day. He did not put that person drunk behind the wheel. The person chose to do it. And destroyed a lot of lives. Sin causes that. 

So stop thinking that Friday the 13th is bad luck for us. Today is a day that is still in the Lord's hand. Will you have a good day? Will you have a bad day? I don't know. But I know that you can trust that the Lord is with you. He will watch over you. Trust in Him. Look to Him for guidance in making decisions on what to do. And if you are tempted to sin, turn to the Lord and ask Him to help you through that temptation. 

So do you walk under the ladder? I wouldn't. Why? Because if someone is up there, they could drop something on my head. Bad luck? No. Bad choice on my part. Walk around the ladder. Will the black cat cause you bad luck if it crosses your path? Nope. Not at all. The fact is, the black cat is just a black cat and no different from the tabby cat. 

So live today in the joy of the Lord. Be wise in what you do. Celebrate the wonder of this day. Enjoy this day. Make the most of it. 

How things are going.

 It has been 5 weeks since I had a total knee replacement. Well, maybe it wasn't total because as I talked with one of the physical therapist, he said that it feels like I still have my original knee cap. So I guess that means I had an almost total knee replacement. I know, silly thinking. 

How has it gone? It has gone well. My bend is very good. The farthest I have bent in therapy is 129 degrees. That is amazing. I can remember when getting 90 degrees was amazing. I didn't think it would be possible but here it is. Have I been able to get it completely flat? I am almost there. I am working hard. I have only a degree or two to make it. But it is so tough. Getting the leg flat is challenging. And when Ed stretches my leg during therapy, working on the muscles and tendons, it gets painful. After he is done, it is very tough to even bend the leg. Stretched out, bending is tough. But it finally works.

There is something that is difficult - stairs. I am getting pretty good going up - foot over foot instead of one step at a time. The pain is getting less. Thanks be to God! What is much harder is going down - foot over foot. It is so much more difficult. Hard. Hurts. And is somewhat scary. Every other step, is tough. I grit my teeth and do it. I force myself to do it. But boy is it tough. That and standing up from a chair without using my hands or pushing off from anything - boy is that tough. Really tough. But I work at it. As you read this, stop at this moment, push back from your computer, and stand up, without touching anything. Just stand up. See how easy that was? It isn't that easy for me yet. The lower the seat, the harder it is. Sit down now, without touching anything. Don't plop down. Sit down slowly. That is what I am working on. It is not easy.

I give thanks to the Lord for the healing He is giving me. I give thanks to the Lord for the many ways that He gives healing to these bodies. Think about how amazing it is that cuts heal, colds go away and viruses (yes even Covid) get overcome by the body. Yes, I know, there have been many people who have passed away from Covid related illnesses. My heart breaks for those families. But I also give thanks to the Lord that over 99% of the people who have contracted Covid, have overcome it and their bodies have healed from it. Thanks be to God! 

So that is my update on how things are going. I have other things on my mind - perhaps the election. Amazed me that the same people who claimed there election fraud and the like 4 years ago will say that it isn't possible this year. Is there fraud in elections? Of course there is, on both sides of the aisle. What goes on? I don't know. If you or I could see it easily, then the powers that be are really messing up. They are much better at hiding things than you or me. They get better each year, each election. Do I accept the election of Biden as president? When all is said and done, once it has been certified, I will accept it. Will I like it? No. But that is my personal opinion. You might disagree with me, and that is all right. We can have differing points of view, different opinions about the election and the outcome, but we can accept that. Not everyone will always agree. Time will tell to see what kind of response comes from this thought. 

Anyway, life goes on. Will we be forced to wear masks? I hope not. I hope that it remains up to the individual to decide. I also hope that people quit mask shaming. If you chose to wear one for your safety and comfort, then do so. If you chose not to wear one because you don't feel the need for your safety, then don't wear one. Once again, don't attack me for this statement. Each of us have opinions on this. And each can run out "officials" who say one way or the other. 

Ok, that is all. I have rambled enough. I pray for you and for our country and our leaders. I pray for healing for the sick. I pray for peace among people. I pray for the Lord to heal our nation.

Uncertain times in this world

 As I sit here this morning, I find myself thinking that we are living in uncertain times. Waiti a moment, we are always living in uncertain times. Can we ever be certain of what is going to go on during any given day? I think about what James writes, Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make profit" - yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. (James 4:13-14 ESV) Following this recent presidental election, there is a lot of hand wringing and celebrating. Those who wanted Pres. Trump reelected, there is hand wringing. For those who wanted Joe Biden elected, there is celebrating. There are those who are talking about how terrible it is going to get under a new administration and those who are saying how wonderful it will be under a new adminstration. It all depends on your perspective.

What I think about is that while I might feel that things was going well under Pres. Trump, the reality is, sin was still running rampant. He did not stop sin. He did not stop people from going against the will of God. And Joe Biden will not stop sin either. He will not stop people from going against the will of God. The reality is, people are still going to live according to their own sinful desires no matter who is president of the United States. If you think anything else, you are only fooling yourself. There is no person here on earth that is going to change the way people live.

Unfortunately, those who are leading our nation, on both sides of the aisle, are living just like you and me - living according to the ways of the world. What a challenge it is for us to live as the Lord would have us live. This is the challenge of living as a saint and sinner in this world. Each day, we might want to live according to the will of God, while at the same time, there is a part of us that might want to live according to the way of the fallen world. 

Do you feel that it is all right to have sexual relations outside of marriage? The Lord doesn't. Do you feel that it is all right to end the life of the unborn child before he/she is born? The Lord doesn't. Do you feel it is all right to talk poorly about another person, perhaps the person that was elected that you don't like, or the person who was not elected that you don't like? The Lord doesn't. Do you feel it is all right to mask shame people? The Lord doesn't. Do you feel it is all right to destroy someone's reputation? The Lord doesn't. 

I am not saying that I am a perfect person, living according to the will of the Lord each day. I am not. I sin daily. I do ask God to forgive me each day, to forgive me for the sins that I have done, those I know and those I don't know. Having said that, I would say the same about each and every person. We are all sinful people who need the Lord each day. We need the forgiveness of the Lord each day. 

And then, as we are forgiven, then we need to ask the Lord to help us to live differently today. We need our hearts to change. Instead of talking poorly about each other, we should build each other up. Instead of tearing down one side or another, we should find ways to build each side up. 

Will that happen? In truth, I doubt it. Why? Because of sin. Because we are sinful people. We will do what we can to say what we feel we should, and we will justify it. I don't care who you are (myself included), we will not live in perfection. As I listen to the news (both sides), I do not hear unity and peace. I hear sinful division. Again and again. I am sure that someone will be upset with me for saying these things, but that won't surprise me. Why? Because we are sinful people who will do what we can to say unkind things about others, even those we don't know. We will make judgments. We will speak our opinions, which are generally uniformed and baseless. And we will feel that we are correct in doing so.

Lord, I pray for our nation. I pray for our leaders. I pray for each person. I ask that we might live according to Your will. (I know that many do not hold onto You, don't believe in You, don't want anything to do with You, but I ask that You would still work in their lives.) Lord, Your will be done.

Peace in uncertain times.

 So much uncertainty. Many people, myself included, thought that we would be moving past the election on Tuesday, having a president elected. It didn't matter which side you supported, I would think that you were hoping for the same thing. Then the nation could begin to move forward, either with one man reelected or one man elected. As you go into an election, you have no idea how the outcome will be. So there is uncertianty. But that didn't happen. Here it is, 2020 +2 days and we are still waiting. Both sides are jockeying for position to try to declare that they have won. And the people of the nation wait, uncertain of the outcome. 

It is that way in a many areas of our lives. There is uncertainty when it comes to health, to jobs, to relationships, to covid-19 and a whole host of other areas. Uncertainty causes nerves to be on age. It causes people to begin to feel frustrated. What can be done?

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. (John 14:27 ESV) Jesus comes to bring peace to our lives. It isn't peace in the sense that the world sees or expects peace. We want peace to be in such a way that there is no conflict. We know that there will be conflict in this world. When the angels spoke to the shepherds on the night of Jesus' birth, they said, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. (Luke 2:14 KJV) What peace? It is a peace with God. 

For the Savior came to save from sin, death and the devil. He came to bring peace with God among people, for the sinner is separated from God. Through faith in Christ, forgiveness is given, which brings peace to the heart. In Christ, there is forgiveness and in that forgiveness comes peace that passes all human understanding. 

Can we have certainty? Yes, in Christ. But can we have certainty in these uncertain times? Yes indeed, in Christ. But there is so much that we do not know or do not control That is right. The reality is, there is so much that we do not control. I work hard to be in control of my health. I do the things I am supposed to do. At times, I feel pretty certain things are well. But then there are times, such as now, following a total knee replacement, that I am not in control. I want to feel good. I want pain and discomfort to go away. I do the physical therapy and the exercises. But I am not in control. And this brings uncertainty. It frustrates me. But instead of focusing upon the pain or the discomfort and the uncertainty, I need to take my eyes off that which I cannot control, and fix my eyes upon that which is certain - my Lord Jesus Christ. He will fill my heart with assurance and certainty. Is it easy? No. Is it possible? Yes. As the Holy Spirit gives me strength through faith in Christ.

It is that way with the election. You cannot control the election. But you can have peace knowing that in the election, whichever candidate wins, the Lord is still in control. If you support Biden, you want him to win. If you support Trump, you want him to win. You have probably done everything you could to make that happen. But in the end, the outcome of the election will be according to the will of the Lord. It is tough to say that if your candidate loses. But it has to be said. Whoever wins, we need to put our hearts forward, and pray for the winner, that the Lord will guide him. And we should pray for the one who loses. Why? Because that is the way that we should be as Christians. Will we agree with whoever is elected? Of course not. Even if it was your candidate, I am sure that there will be things that he does that you will not agree with. But it should be that we pray for each candidate, as well as for those who are in the midst of all the swirling controversy of the ballot counting. 

Certainty in an uncertain time. That is what we have in Christ. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7 ESV)

May that peace come into your life, and help you to face another uncertain day. 

The Time Changes. How do you handle it?

 Time change! Spring forward, fall back. That means that last night, we gained one hour. We turned the clocks back one hour. It happens on the 1st Sunday in November each year. Today is November 1st. Even though it seems really, really early this year, it is the right time. We gained an hour last night. 

Did you enjoy your extra hour of sleep? Or did you wake up at your "normal" time, which means that if you wake up at 6 a.m. you were waking up at 5 a.m.? Perhaps you were able to sleep that extra hour. If so, good for you. It is a difficult thing to do. If you have pets, especially dogs, that is hard to do. They don't understand this time change stuff. If they normally go out at 6 in the morning, they still want to go out at 6 in the morning, even if that is now 5 in the morning. If you have cattle or other animals, they don't understand the time change. You can't tell them, "Tomorrow we will go back to standard time and that means that I will be out here an hour later," and expect them to understand. They still want to be fed at the same time. If you milk, they still want to be milked at the same time.

It is the same thing with infants and little kids. For those of you who have an infant, I feel for you. They don't get the time change thing. So they will get you up at the "normal" time, which means you probably won't get that extra hour of sleep. I remember those days. It takes about a week for them to finally get into the new time. So this is going to be a challenging week for parents of infants and small children and for those who have pets and farm animals. 

Does this time change make a difference? I don't know. It is nice to have the sun come up earlier. But that only means that it will go down an hour earlier. Ugh! So with sunset at 6:15 p.m. on Saturday evening, it will now be at 5:15 p.m on Sunday. Wow! That is going to make the evenings a little longer. Good luck to you as you make the adjustments. 

I do want to say something today about All Saints Day. November 1st is that special day when we remember those who died in Christ. That means that they died believing in Jesus as their Savior. The comfort that gives to their family is the assurance that they have entered into eternal life with their Lord Jesus Christ. It brings to mind John 3:16, For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but shall have eternal life. Life eternal with Jesus Christ when we breath our last. How? Not by anything we have done but by everything He has done for us. He gives us that assurance in the waters of our Baptism, continues to strengthen us in that faith through Word and Sacrament. And then, when we face that day when we close our eyes for the last time, He tells us He will take us to be with Him in heaven. We lsiten when He says, I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. (John 11:25-26 ESV) Life in Christ. I think about my mother, Gen Brawner, who is with her Lord in heaven. I think of my father-in-law, Norman Rex, who is with Jesus in heaven. I think of Harry Foerster, Cecil Osborne, and Charles Brawner, who are with their Lord in heaven. I think about so many who have been a part of the congregations I have served, and I sing the praise of the Lord for they are with Him in heaven. Thanks be to God!

For all the saints, who from their labors rest...is a song that we will sing in church today. It gives me such comfort, for the loss of a loved one hurts, but the pain is comforted in the knowledge that they are in heaven with Jesus Christ. All praise be to God! Alleluiah!

Have a great time change Sunday and a wonderful All Saints Day. God bless you.

Change

 Change. Who out there likes change? Who seeks out change? I know that I prefer to kee things the way they are. Don't change things on me. Let things remain like they are. It is for sure that whenever change comes, I get anxious, concerned and begin to wonder if it is necessary or needed. Change. Don't do it.

But then I thought about change. Change is all around. The seasons are changing. The warmth of summer has given way to the coolness of fall which gives way to the cold of winter (though it is not winter yet). The beautiful green of the trees has given way to the reds, yellow and oranges of fall. Oh how I love to see the colors of fall. It is so pretty to see the colors against the background of a bright blue fall sky. 

But wait, that is change. It is a change that I don't mind. So I guess I don't mind all change. Just certain change. Then again, when I see these changes of the trees, it reminds me that there is a greater change coming. It is called winter. So maybe that is the change that I don't like. But then again, I do not mind winter either. I don't like to have the bitter cold, but then again, it is the way the weather is supposed to be so I don't mind it so much. 

So what other changes are there that I don't like? I like it when we get a new car, not that we have done that recently. But it is change. A change that I like. Though I didn't like how it happened last time (our last vehicle was totalled in a hail storm), I did like the outcome because I like our current vehicle. When we realized our tires were needing replaced, we made sure we had new tires on the van. We didn't mind that change, especially when driving in the rain. So that was a good change.

So changes isn't all bad. There are many things that have changed in our lives. It changes all the time. How many of us have indoor plumbing? That was a big change. Or instead of a land line, have a cell phone? How many changed from a flip phone (I know some of you still have the flip phone) to the iPhone? It was a change I fought but afterwards was thankful I did.

Yes, change is all around us and isn't always bad. But the reality is, there are some changes we don't like. Why? Because we don't like the outcome. The change that comes when the doctor says, "It's cancer." Or the change that happens when the phone rings and you hear, "There has been an accident." Or the change that takes place when you hear the words, "School will be closed starting tomorrow for the next 2 weeks." Or the change...

These changes challenge us. They are something we don't like. They push us out of our comfort zone. The changes cause our lives to collapse into a mess. Changes cause us to realize that we are not in control. We are not the ones that actually can control the situations of our lives. And that frustrates us. It fills us with anxiety. It makes us feel helpless and hopeless. It leads us into places that scare us, and make us realize - I am in need of someone or something other than myself.

That someone is none other that our Lord Jesus Christ. He does not change. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. His love never changes. His strength never fades. His guidance is always there. He is the Good Shepherd that leads us through the valley of the shadow of death. He is the One who cares for us, carries us, loves us, helps us, and is always with us. 

As you face change today, don't face it by yourself. When you get bad news, when you feel overcome, when you are crushed by the word that comes to you, when the situation of your life is more than you can handle, turn your eyes from yourself to your Lord Jesus Christ. He is there for you. He is the one that will always help you through what you are facing. 

As I went to the hospital on Oct. 8th, I was scared. Change was coming. I was going to get a new knee, a knee replacement. It was a change that was more than I could imagine. So what did I do? Did I suck it up and convince myself that it would be all right? Nope. I turned to my Lord Jesus Christ. I talked to Him over and over again. I listened to His voice as He talked to me and assured me that I was not alone, that He was holding me. He told me that it would be all right. Yes, it would be painful. Yes, it would lead to weeks of change. But through it all, He told me that I could make it through, because He was with me. He would watch over me on the table. He would care for me in recovery. He would walk with me when they got me out of bed. He would enfold me in His arms as I struggle with the pain, the suffering, the frustration. So in this change, I could face it because I knew that I was not alone. 

You can have that same assurance. Trust in Your Lord Jesus Christ. He is with you. He will care for you. He will never leave you alone. In the midst of change, there is the changeless Lord that you can trust in. 

Lord, be with me in the changes that I face. 

Thoughts on Physical Therapy.

Physical therapy.  I have heard about it. People ahve talked about it. As a pastor, I have had many of members who have gone through PT in their lives - for knees, hips, shoulders, heart, and a whole host of other types of ailments. They have talkeda bout how good it is. They have also said that it is challenging for them. 

Now, I know what they were talking about. I have PT three days a week. Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Different time each day. I have had 3 different people - Kenda, Ed and Emily. They each have a different way of doing PT but each are challenging. Is one more challenging than another? Nope. Is one better than another? Nope. All three of them have done well for. They have all pushed me. They have each taken me right up to the limit, then pushed a little bit further.

Is it worth it? Yes it is. I remember one day when Ed was working with my leg, stretching and bending. And as I was just about to cry "uncle," I remembered that the end is what he is working towards. So I let him continue to get that leg working. Then he was done. I breathed a sigh of relief. And walked out. 

The squats on the machine, wow! How far has the knee bent? 120 degrees! It was just about all I could do to get to that point. I was at 118, and felt like I was at the end of what I could do. Then as it was measured, and was at 118, I said, I think I have more. Gritting my teeth, letting my body weight press a little bit more, it was 119. Enough? I would have stopped is Kenda did not ask if there was more. A little bit more, and it was 120! I rejoiced, stretched back and breathed a sigh of relief. Is that enough? Maybe we could get to 125 she said. My jaw drops open, and I think, "Wow! Really?" My left knee only is able to do 120. Is that really possible? Time will tell.

PT - not giving up. I think about that with my spiritual walk. There are times I feel like quitting. Life is tough. Life is really tough. There is so many times I feel like giving up. But the Holy Spirit is there, encouraging me, reminding me that I am not alone, that He is there with me. He strengthens me through His Word. He lifts me from despair. He feeds me with Christ's body and blood. And then, I find that with His help, I am able to continue on. I am able to push through the pain of life and the frustration of the situation, to that which is worthwhile. The Spirit strengthens me so that I can do all things through Him!!!! That is the amazing fact about my Lord Jesus Christ. When I feel like giving up, He lifts me. When I feel like I am being crushed, He puts the burden on His shoulders and lifts me up. When I am overcome, He holds me in His arms, binds up my wounds, and then helps me to continue on. I rejoice in the life and love that the Lord gives to me. 

Has it been easy? Nope. Do I feel like giving up at times? Yep. Do I? Nope. Why? Because of my Lord Jesus Christ who is with me, because of my Father who holds me, because of the Spirit who strengthens me. My God is my refuge and strength. An every present help in trouble. I give thanks to my Lord for all He has done for me. 

Why do I tell you this? Because He is there for you too. He is your Lord. He is your Savior. He is your refuge and strength. In your struggles, do not turn from the Lord. In your PT of life, know that He never turns from you. He will hold you, lift you, and push you to contine on in life.

A story of staples

 Have you ever had something coming that you dreaded? You were sure that it was going to be awful. There was no way that you would make it through the situation. You thought about it, again and again, and the outcome was going to be bad no matter how it played out. That, my friends, is how I felt about today. Why today?

Today was the day that I was going to get the staples out of my knee. If you remember, when it was cleaned up while in the hospital, I had a pretty awful reaction. I thought about the staples coming out and I figured it would be just as bad. Every time I thought about it I knew it was going to be bad. I dreaded this day. I was going to go in and the doctor was going to remove them. I just knew that I was going to pass out again. I knew it was going to hurt. I knew it was going to be a terrible, bad, awful day.

Dr. D. came in. She had all the tools. The moment of truth. She started to take the bandage off. Peeling it down. "Oh boy, what is it going to be like?" I wondered to myself. She peeled it down. I didn't want to look and yet I knew I wanted to. So what did I do? I looked. And...

...it wasn't so bad. There was no blood. There was no redness in the incension. It actually looked good. The doc cleaned it up and kept talking to me. I asked how many staples there were - 14. So she started. One, two, three...and it was going well. No pinching. No pain. Nothing like I expected. Four, five, six...and we kept talking. Seven, eight, nine, ten...and things just kept going well. She was doing a great job. Did I have any doubt? Not about her but about me and how I would do. Eleven, twelve, thirteen and fourteen. They were all out! And it wasn't so bad.

I couldn't believe it. It wasn't as bad as I expected. Why did I dread this so much? Dr. D. applied glue to it in order to make sure it didn't pull apart. Put on the sani strips. And it was over. 

That is the way life is. At times the dread of a situation is often worse than the situation itself. Instead of spending so much time and energy dreading something, I should have turned it over to Jesus, let Him have the fear and face it with a confidence that comes from Him. Yes, the Lord taught me a lesson today. A lesson of 14 staples.

Wrapping up the Journey

 Rather than bore you with how the recovery continued to go, I have some thoughts to share. I did miss going to worship Sunday morning. Penny got up. Helped me get cleaned up and ready for the day, which wasn't going to have much go on anyway. I went out onto the porch with the dogs while Penny went to church. I sat on the porch, listened to a couple different devotions, reflected on the beauty of God's creation, listened to the wind blow through the trees, watching the people go by. I was amazed to see some of St. John members drive by. Reminded me that not everyone is going to worship yet. But I wondered why were they out and about on Sunday morning if they didn't feel safe going to worship? That is always the question that I have. I leave that in their lives. It is not for me to judge. I do know that I missed being at worship that morning. I missed the fellowship. I missed the Word. I missed the whole worship experience. I do know that I was preaching that morning. What? How as that possible? I had prepared the sermon earlier in the week, and had gotten together with Casey and he recorded the sermon. Actually, he recorded it twice, for the first time the sound didn't come through. I guess that gave me a chance to run through the sermon once before it was fully recorded. So I did attend worship in spirit and via the magic of electronic medium. 

 After service, had a family stop and visit. It was good to see someone from church. One of the things that I would say is that I didn't have very many visitors. I think folks thought one of two things: 1) I needed the time to recover and 2) they thought I would have plenty of company and they didn't want to bother me. To be honest, I would have loved company. As Penny went to work on Monday, I was left home alone. I know that my thoughts were kind of cloudy because of the medication. It took all week for my mind to become clear. I didn't do much work. Why? I couldn't think clearly. But I would have gladly welcomed visitors. Might have even helped to clear the mind. I napped. I sat. I got up and walked. I stretched my leg. I bent my leg. I moaned and groaned. I went to PT. I learned more about what to do to make the leg work. Each time at PT, it was a greater challenge because they pushed me harder and further. I am happy to do that because I keep my eyes on the end results, being able to walk without pain or problems. That is the goal. That is why I had the knee replaced to begin with. 

The one thing I thought I was ready for was the pain. It was very painful when the pain meds from the surgery wore off. There had been the spinal, the general and the local. As each of those wore off, the pain began to grow. On a scale of 1-10, what would be the pain. A 2. A 4. An 8. It just depended. But I could tell when the pain meds would wear off. The level would rise. Even now, I can tell that. It is knee replacement day plus 14 days (2 weeks) and I know when the pain meds wear off. Mornings are probably the worse. The leg gets stiff. The meds wear off. And I don't take them right away when I get up. So it throbs.

I thought I was ready for the pain. But I wasn't. I think about that regularly. I think about how much it does hurt. Then I think of what they did. And it makes perfect sense why it hurts. I don't like taking all the pain meds. There is always that fear that you are going to become dependent on them. I sure don't want that to happen. Nor do I think that it will but you always have that in the back of your mind.

I did finally start to get out at the end of the 1st week. I went to PT. The first time I think I sat in the van while Penny ran into the store. Didn't feel like walking around inside. The next time she went to the store, I went in with her. I didn't use the walker. Call it vanity. Call it what you want but I didn't want to walk through the store with a walker, So what did I do? I got a cart and used that to walk with. No speed walking through the store. Had a perscription to pick up. Wasn't too bad. Tired me out. What do you expect? Did it again a few days later and it wasn't so bad. Still used the cart for my support. 

Last weekend was pretty good. Went to the Touch of Love Breakfast at St. John. Nice to actually sit and visit with the folks. Was a fun morning. Rested that afternoon. Actually I think it was right after we got home. Then worship on Sunday morning. Once again, a blessing. Word and Sacrament given and fellowship of the body. How nice it was! I had only been out for one weekend, and 2 weeks, but I felt so disconnected from what was going on. It helped seeing people, talking with them, seeing their smiles and hearing their words of encouragement. Sunday evening was a Fall Family Festival at Henkeville. That was fun. Lots of people. Plenty of hot dogs, chili and other things. Didn't stay the whole time. A little is as good as a feast, someone famous once said. 

So at I sit here on Wednesday, exactly 2 weeks after surgery, I see the improvements that I have made. The leg is stronger. The pain not quiet so severe. I look back, remember what I have gone through and think to myself, "I wasn't ready for that." It is for sure that I thought I had it figured out but it sure rouded the corner and knocked me over. Will I have the other one done? Yes. It needs fixed and if I have to face a few weeks of pain and inconvienence, it is worth it. Thinking about it, I am still amazed. I am walking on a let that 2 weeks ago was taken apart, cleaned and had new parts put into it, all the while not cutting or destroying the muscles or tendons. The Lord has truly blessed us with some really briliant minds that have come up with the procedures and the hardware for it, and those with the ability to accomplish the task. Thanks, Lord! It is amazing.

The journey continues. Challengings? Yes. Will I give up? Nope. The ultimate outcome outweighs the few weeks of problems. So here I go, facing more PT, and the rest of what this journy means for me. 

Saturday comes and goes

 Sleep was not easy that night. I thought perhaps since I was home, I would sleep much better than I did in the hospital. But that wasn't going to be the case. Nope. Sleep wouldn't be so easy. Both dogs went upstairs like they usually did. I think Zeb wasn't really sure where I was since I had been gone the night before and he figured I was gone again this night. After all, who ever sleep down on the main floor, besides Grandma when she comes to visit. 

I woke up every 45 minutes to an hour. Had to get up, go to the bathroom, try to keep the bladder working for fear of what would happen if it didn't. Thinking to myself that I hope I didn't get sick again. Thankfully, I didn't. I would take a drink of water before going to bed, so that I wouldn't get dehydrated. That is the last thing I wanted to have happen. Or at least one of the many things that I didn't want to have happen. A few sips of water, back in bed, lifting the right leg because it would not lift itself. No amount of coaxing could get it going. Have you ever tried to get your computer to work by sweet talking it? Did it ever work? Of course not. Neither did trying to talk to my leg. Guess no softward installation yet. Updates had to be coming so that it could go online. 

Morning came, none to soon. What a miserable night of sleep. Fitfully at best, not much at all at worst. I wasn't used to that. I normally fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow and stay asleep all night. If I have to get up at night, I fall right back to sleep. So to not sleep is a foreign concept to me. I am beginning to understand what it is like for some of you who are awake at night. Oh, how I love Jesus, I sing to myself, hoping that this will help me. It does, but sleep still never came. Long night. Oh so long. But little did I know that the Saturday would bring challenges of its own. 

Penny came down, checked on me. What a great nurse she is. I give thanks to God for her. I would be grumbling at her over the next few days. I would snap at her. And I would apologize to her. I don't mean to be mean. I don't mean to snap. It just happens. Amazing how sin finds its way out of our hearts at times like this. She is gracious and forgiving. 

I don't know how the morning really played out. I do know that we tried some dry toast and tea. Maybe that would be all right. Soon and very soon, it wasn't. Garbage can in hand, the dogs left the room. I don't blame them. I wanted to leave the room too. Boy did it hurt. It wasn't because of medicine we decided, because I hadn't taken any yet. A little bit later. It happened again. Can it get much worse? I crawled back into bed. Penny helped me. Took care of me. 

She called the surgery number. Told them what was going on and the good man put in an order for Zofran to help with the nausea. Back in the bedroom, what was left inside of my stomach made an appearance. Hurt worse than ever since not much was there. Laying down, Penny kissed me and said she was going for the medicine at Hyvee. 

Before I knew it, she was back. They had received the order yet. No Zofran. I don't know if she called or if the surgery center called but she got word that my medicine was ready. Off she went again. Eyes closed, weird dreams and she was back. A small pill that dissolved under the tongue. Tasted like grape at first then became nasty taste. But it worked Calmed the stomach. Was able to keep things down! Thank God for modern medicine. 

Had chicken soup for lunch. I do know that it tasted good. And it stayed down. Praise God! The rest of the day was kinda blurry. I know I sat up for a bit. I slept for a bit. I took medicine when I was told to take it. And I muddled through the day. 

Dreams. Really weird dreams. Dreams of lots of people Everytime I closed my eyes, there were people talking, standing around. People here, people there. And I could hear them talking. Crazy conversations. Where did all these people come from? I don't know. They would show up in my dreams, talk, laugh, carry on. Strangeness. Medicine does strange things. 

I know I did not do service that night. There was no way. I did preach though. How? Through the wonder of technology. I preached a sermon for recording on Monday and Casey played it for the sermon Saturday.

That's right, I remember some things. I received a phone call from Ritchie Funeral Home. Rae Ann Mellencamp passed away suddenly. I was in shock. The funeral would be this coming week. Would I be doing the funeral? The mind said yes. The heart said yes. The body? No software yet. Haden't been installed yet. But I had it in my mind I was going to do the funeral. Can you tell I wasn't thinking straight? Two days after surgery and I thought I could do a funeral the coming week. Penny, the one that seems to give good advice when I need it, suggested making a couple of phone calls. So I did. Called my chairman. Called me head elder. And both those men were much wiser than me, also they were not recovering from surgery and have heads muddled with medicine and legs without software. They guided me to acknowledge that I couldn't. I give thanks to God for those who give good guidance. Called Darrell Mellencamp and talked with him. My heart went out to him. I couldn't imagine the shock he was going through. Thankfully we knew for certain that Rae Ann believed in Jesus as her Savior and was seeing him face-to-face. Praise the Lord. Called the funeral home, let them know I couldn't do it. Talked with Pastor Tompkins who would do the funeral. Thank you. (Can you imagine, I was able to do all that even while not feeling the best. God is good. The Holy Spirit guides. Jesus saves. Praise the Lord!)

What did we do in the evening. Played Words with Friends. We like to do that. It is like Scrabble, only electronic. The day was soon coming to an end. I am sure that much more happened during the day but I must have missed it. I slept. I sat. I watched Penny. I petted the dogs. I slept. I waited. Thinking - soon and very soon, this will be over. My leg felt like it weighed 100 pounds. I couldn't lift my foot off the floor onto a stool or onto the bed. When would the software be installed? Maybe tomorrow. Maybe.

The night was coming. Penny tucked me into bed. Wrapped my leg in ice. Gave me medicine. Kissed me good night. Zeb stayed the night with me. Wrigley too. And I drifted off to sleep with all the people who would come and visit me. Who were there people anyway? ZZZZZZ

Home at last! What will it be like?

 It was that simple. I was heading home from the hospital after having a new knee installed. I don't know if that is the official term for it. But I had new hardware. Now I just needed to instal the software to get it moving right. Kinda like a new computer without software is useless, so a new knee without the right software was pretty worthless. How did I know? Have you ever tried to get into a vehicle the day after knee surgery. Looks easy. Just sit down, slide and turn. Yeah, right. In theory it is easy. But the hardward and the software were not working together. The brain said, "All right leg, let's get in." The leg responded, "Huh? There is no program telling me how to do that." The brain responded, "Yes there is. It says right here in the files, 'let into vehicle, how to.' So let's do it." "Nope," the leg responded and just hung there. So Megan, the nurse, ever helpful and wanting to get this crazy vagaling person out of the area, reaches down and helps lift the leg to get into the van. "Warning! Warning!" the lights flash, an alarm goes off, and the leg says, "What are you doing?" as it is gingerly put into the van. Sitting there, panting, the door closes with, "Hope you do well." And Megan goes dancing down the walk pushing the wheelchair. Was that a leap of joy that I just saw her do? Wait, that must be the pain killers talking for that isn't what happened. Anyway, buckled into the seat, Penny drives me home. 

Window down, fresh air blowing through my hair. You want the truth? I don't remember if the window was up or down. I don't even remember if it was warm. I think it was. But who knows? Maybe it wasn't. The mind was a little foggy and doesn't remember. Watching out the window, I wondered how this was going to work. Getting home was just the first step. 

Pulling up to the house, the first sign of trouble filled my head. I didn't feel the greatest. But it must just be thr ride home. Or the medicine. Or whatever. Penny comes around to the passenger side door, opens it (at least she might have or maybe I did, I don't remember), gets my walker out of the back, sets it up, and helps me out of the van. "Warning! Warning!" Lights flashing, warning alarms going off, as the leg is bent just enough to clear the door frame. Stepping down, and holding onto the walker, I look at the door. It must have been a half block away. Look at that. How am I going to ever walk that far. All right, it was only 6-7 feet away, but it looked further. 

Penny unlocked the door, and the dogs come out. They come over and say hello, wagging their tails, sniffing happily at the one who was gone only overnight but it seemed a lot longer. They went into the yard and the next challenge, one step into the house. One step.  Up with the good...so place the walker inside the door, reach up and take hold of the doorframe, lift the left leg up and in, followed by this leg that hasn't had the chance to have the software installed yet. Was it hard? Nope. Was it easy? Nope. It jsut was. I was inside. Hurrah! The war is won, so I thought. 

Walking inside, I go to sit down at the table. I have no clue what time it is. Penny has chicken soup on the stove. Smells really good. Now at this moment, I don't really know what happened. Did I go to my study/room where my bed was? Did I go to the kitchen table to sit down? I don't know. I don't remember. I was in the house and have no clue what I did. I do know that soon it got to be close to supper time. I walked out the the kitchen table. The warning lights weren't going off so that is good. Maybe the software was being installed. Maybe it wasn't. Time would tell.

But sitting there, thinking of eating, things were turning bad quickly. I wasn't feeling well. The stomach was starting to rebel. Suffice it to say, without going into detail, that lunch revisited, several times. Oh the pain. The retchedness of it all! Warning lights flashing. Nothing is staying down. Several times. Water? Nope? Crackers? Nope. Nothing. After a few times of painful and totally removal of that which was inside my stomach, we (meaning Penny led me and helped me) went to the study/room, and got into bed. "Warning! Warning!" Lights flashing. Siren sounding. No, the software was not installed. The leg would not lift on the floor to the bed. Penny helped me, God bless her. She is such a caring wife, showing her love in caring for this sick and weak old man. That is how I felt. How could such an old guy have such a young gal caring for him? The Lord is good to me, much better than I deserve.

Laying back, I finally relax. I think I took medicine. I don't really know. Perhaps. Or perhaps not. I am not even sure if I went to sleep or stayed awake. But it passed. Evening came, we sat up in the living room, playing Word with Friends. How did I get there? I walked. Software must be installing. Ice wrap. Blanket wrapped around me. Garbage can next to me. At some point, more extraction too place. Terrible when the dogs leave the room because of what is taking place. 

And then, after the game is over, not sure who won, I was back in bed. Ready to face a fitfull night of sleep. But I was home! That is all that counted. Tomorrow would be another day. It had to be better. Maybe overnight the software for the leg would finally be installed and all would be good. Drifting off into sleep, I hear the universe chuckle. "Yeah right," it says to me. "Just you wait till tomorrow." 

Good night Lord. Closing my eyes, prayer on my lips, I drift into a fitfull, medication induced sleep. Maybe...just maybe

Friday morning and a New Knee! WoW!

 The night passed. I would like to say that I slept all night long. All right, I will say it. "I slept all night long." But that isn't the truth. The fact is, I slept fitfully. How do you get comfortable when your leg feels like it weighs a hundred pounds, they kep coming in to do something and you have to use the urinal. Or at least, you have to try to use the urinal, or whatever that thing is that men have to use when they lay in a hospital bed. My bladder was supposed to wake up. I had 8 hours to go. And I barely made that time frame. The hurse gave me a pass. Thankfully. The other otion didn't sound like any fun. But I really had to go and it just wasn't working right. So I would wake up and try. Then go back to sleep. The nurse would come in and I would go back to sleep. The lady across the hall would yell and then i would go back to sleep. And it would start all over. Seemed like if I got a 1/2 hour of sleep I was doing good. Why couldn't the pain meds just knock me out? But they didn't. They did help the pain. That was good.

About 10:00 p.m. on Thursday night, I looked down at my leg just to see how things looked (as I if I could see anything with all the bandage and guaze and stuff) and there was blood on my bandage and my bed. Hold on here. I might not be a nurse but I knew something wasn't quite right. So I quickly pressed my nurse button. I took a picture of it and sent it to Penny. I have to be honest, it scared me. You aren't supposed to bleed through your bandage. But the Doc did tell Penny I bled a lot during surgery, so that it shouldn't be a surprise. But I was surprised and concerned. The nurse came in. "May I help you?" Yes, I said, pulling back my sheet, I don't think this is supposed to happen. She looked at it. Turned the lights on, and said she would get the floor nurse (or whatever they call the head nurse for the night). He came in, and soon they were taking the bandage off. Yuck! It was full of blood. They wiped it up. Cleaned it up. Checked it out. Then after a bit, wrapped it up. Then they changed the bed.

Being able to stand helped. I got out of bed so they could change it. And the dilemma was back. Those hospital gowns don't cover everything. And my modesty was back. I wanted to keep the world from seeing my backside. Who wouldn't? I know it isn't anything special to look at but it is mine and no one but the mrs. should be looking at it. So I stood there, trying to hold my robe together while the 3 of them changed the bed. I know it was routine for them. I am amazed at how effecient they are. They quickly changed the dressing, the bed and got things cleaned up, and then was done. They helped me back to bed. Yes, they had to lift my leg back into the bed because it wanted to remain firmly situated on the floor instead of joining me in bed. That is the way legs that have been abused act. 

Thenthe night began. Doze, wake up, try to go, be frustrated, doze, nurse come in, doze, noise outside the door, doze and then look at the time, only an hour had passed. It was like that all night. Was it a bad night? No. Just wasn't a restful night. 

Finally morning came - at about 4:00 am. when they had to draw blood, change bags of fluids, give medicine, check vitals and whatever else they needed to do. I was in a daze. I still was amazed at what had taken place. Thankfully, no more bleeding. All was right in the world once again. 

I was able to get up and sit in the chair (with help of course). That was so much better than sitting in the bed. I dozed. Then breakfast came in. Not all by itself, but carried by one of the wonderful folks from dietary. A good breakfast. More than I could eat. But I had my hot tea! Yum. That helped make the world right. A doctor came in and talked with me. About what? I don't remember. Occupational therapy was there at 8:00 am. I got to brush my teeth. I moved around. She helped me learn how to do basic things. Then came PT. Kenda was a good gal. Walked me down to the end of the hall. Thankfully she didn't leave me there. She walked me back again. Taught me about a step so I could get into the house. One step. Up with the good, down with the bad. I knew that one already. I think about that each week when doing stairs in worship. But often had to ask, which one is good and which one is bad? It depended on the day. 

Penny arrived at some time. I really couldn't tell you what time it was but it was good to see her. Like breath of fresh air coming into the room. So they told us that I had my walking orders. Megan would get me ready to go. All right! Home! Here we come.

But it got dicey before heading home. Megan changed dressing. I mean she changed all of it. Took the main bandage off. Got to see the knee, the cut, the staples. We were talking. Penny and Megan talking about the fact that I vagal easily. That means that I will have a vasogal attack or faint. Big time. Not a simple little thing. I hate it. Happened in several of my heart caths that I had. Once I vagaled twice, once at the beginning of the procedure and another when they took the sheath out. What happens? There is a rapid drop in heart rate and blood pressure. And you faint. My vision gets funky. I have trouble talking. Anyway, they were talking about that and I remember telling Penny, "It is happening." She looked at me and could tell I was a goner. "Keep looking at me," she said, but I wasn't able. Ugh, terrible, awful feeling. Give me surgery over vagaling anytime. So there I was, sweating, white as the paint on the wall, unable to see anything or focus on anything. And then, finally, coming out of it. "Sorry," was all I could say. Megan and Penny continued talking. Megan said she didn't need to actually see what happens when I do that. Sorry about that. 

Megan was usually a surgery nurse but was on the floor Friday because they were shorthanded and hand lots of patients (just to note, not because of covid, but because of lots of patients). She was actually one of my nurses during surgery. That was cool. She was laughing and said that it was funny the things I was saying after surgery (let it be known I do not remember any of this). I guess I told them they did a great job. They were an amazing team. That I loved them all. I appreciated them. She just laughed about it. Said it was fun to have someone like that. Made their day. 

Anyway, after that encounter, we got ready to go. Penny ran home because we didn't know how long it would be. When she got back, Megan took us through the routine check out procdures. Penny went to get the van and I was wheeled out of the hospital.

I had a new knee! How totallly awesome is that? I was amazed. I was pleased. I was in pain. But I was heading home! Fresh air. Sitting in the van. riding home. And the beat goes on. Thank You Lord for the past 24 hours which were beyond amazing. So many good people taking care of me. The Lord watching over me. And nothing would be then same anymore. Couldn't be. I had a new knee!